I wanted to add a new feature to my blog called :
“Androcentric News” …
……… news concerning sex, men’s health, muscle, libido, etc….
you know — man stuff .
But I then remembered how many of the lovelier and smarter persuasion read my blog….
( don’t ask me why… )
So, in the interest of fair play and equal time, here’s 10 jokes that women make about men.
Ladies, feel free to use ’em against us anytime you feel the need !!
1. Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it’s never used.
2. Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.
3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already
4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same
time,who would reach the ground first?
The woman, the man would get lost.
5. How are men like commercials?
You can’t believe a word either one of them says and they both
last about 60 seconds.
6. How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a
7. What do you call a man with half a brain?
8. What’s the difference between government bonds and men?
9. What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
10. What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
11. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What they think they don’t know.
(oh… a lot of us can’t count, either………… ) 😀
And now that we got the whole ‘equal time’ thing outta the way-
Here’s this month’s edition of the Androcentric News
A recent survey of 20,000 women revealed the TOP TEN FEMALE SEXUAL FANTASIES…
( I thought you fellas might be interested in this inside information….. )
1: Fantasizing About Acts with Current Partner
2: Sex with a Man Other Than Your Partner (usually a past lover)
3: Sex with Another Woman
4: Something They’ve Never Tried Before
5: Receiving Oral Sex
(hey guys… – ya never heard of ‘give and ya shall receive’??)
6: Fantasies Involving Romantic Sex
7: Sexual Ravaging (Careful here, fellas….. )
8: Being Found Irresistible by a Man
9: Working as a Prostitute or Stripper
10: Sex with a Stranger
11: Wild Nite o’ Sex and Passion with that handsome and sexy Muscleheaded guy
ok……. I admit it…
I still can’t count…. and I made up number 11.
(……….or was it number 10?)
here’s a shirt recently seen at Charlotte Motor Speedway…..
I gotta say, as a guy who did some dirt track racing,
I’m not convinced.
onto some news items about a subject dear to most men’s hearts..
There are mounting reports that the popular anti-impotence drugs like Viagra can cause sudden, but temporary, deafness – usually in one ear.
The FDA found at least 25 cases of this, and has ordered manufacturers of the drugs to add a warning to their already growing lists of side effects……
……. Hey – that extra bloods’ gotta come from somewhere, I guess……
and when you got a 4 hour hard-on, you ain’t doing much listening anyway………
(that’s another potential side effect…..
……although, THAT one doesn’t sound all that bad……. )
Take it from yer Ole Uncle Nuts –
drop some weight, get some exercise, and watch your diet….
and you might not need any help from the pharmaceutical companies…..
…. your lady might even WANT to jump on ya once in a while……
Weirder things have happened.
Before we write off Viagra entirely, though….
Researchers at the University of Wisconsin have found evidence that it increases the availability of the orgasm hormone oxytocin –
promoting more and stronger orgasms in women…..
a current study in the Bahamas has indicated the same, as well as an increase of orgasms among previously non-orgasmic females……….
more study should be very interesting ….
… remember — MORE orgasms in THEM, means MORE orgasms for YOU. Get it?
I just wanna know where I was when they were picking male subjects to assist in the experiments???
Damn – always a day late and a dollar short.
Australian researchers have added more evidence to the mountain of science supporting the importance of free testosterone levels to mental function in older men –
In October 2012’s report of Clinical Endocrinology, a study examined 3,000 men – 70 to 89, and found that lower free T-Levels were a predictor of depression, coronary disease, and mental decline.
Those with low T were apparently not rocking the nursing homes with their libido, either….
T-Levels are a direct determining factor in older male libido.
Bottom line: If you’re over 50, get your T-levels checked- or get ready to check OUT.
While we’re on the subject of Testosterone,
…. a Japanese study on ED patients supplementing T and Sildenafil has made remarkable progress in treating them…..
We all know how important test is to hard-ons…
And the combination was apparently effective in treating over 50% of the studied ED patients over 40.
Interesting results —
and I imagine there are many guys who would find the combination useful.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
The ISSN’s recent study released these conclusions about the relationship of protein supplementation to muscle and strength gains:
People who exercise require more protein than those who don’t.
Active people should get at least 1.5 g per kg body weight per day.
Protein supplementation along with a healthy diet does not impair kidney function.
Consuming protein before and after exercise promotes recovery, boost immunity, and increases lean body mass and strength.
Branched Chain Amino Acids aid recovery and strength.
(Who needed the ISSN to tell you this… you knew it all ready, didn’t ya??? )
Egyptian researchers have found that increased lead exposure will not put lead in your pencil…..
Lead levels are hazardous not only to your physical health, but to the health of Lil Elvis as well……
…….not to mention DNA damage, coronary problems, lowered brain
function, etc etc etc …….
Lead is the most common heavy metal in our environment –
found most often in ammunition, rust inhibitors, batteries, and in the water supply.
I don’t have a punch line here- just avoid it when you can .
Premature ejaculation is a problem for a large segment of the male population –
but once again, exercise has come to the rescue …..
Researchers in India have released a study of 38 premature ejaculators –
They took up Yoga for a period of 12 weeks, and all 38 reported improvement in their PE problems…..
( I frankly can’t think of any other reason a man would take up Yoga, but… )
Of course, there is a large psychological component that must be considered, but I’d say a 100% improvement is still an uplifting result.
Here’s some bad new for those who supplement with ZMA to boost test levels……
The German Research Center for Elite Sports has no found evidence that ZMA has any influence on T-levels….. this after a three year study.
While the old stand-bys like Long Jack and Tribulus are still available, there are also food based strategies that have had success…..
Cabbage, for instance – contains indole-3-carbinol, a natural T-booster..
so do Brussels Sprouts along with diindolin…(1-AD).
Lean meats, legumes and whey protein also can help.
And remember- stress, inactivity and smoking can all lead to low T levels….
….. so if you wanna keep the yang up, You Gotta Take Care Of Yourself!!!!
and for you sharp-eyed folks who’ve been kinda curious about these wonderful vintage artworks that have been so beautifully illustrating this otherwise very slovenly blog…….
The artist was none other than J.C. Leyendecker.
No one could draw the essence of masculinity better —
…. and his depictions of the special connection between men and women are certainly appropriate considering how close we are to Valentines Day.
I hope you enjoyed them.