The Pulpier The Better

outofideasIt seems like the
trend in Hollyweird
these days is to
remake everything
they can get
their hands on……

come on,
did they
really need
to revisit “Ant Man
and The Wasp” from
comics ?

man, lame.

Talk about
running out of ideas.worldofif

When they do
come up with
something of a
semi-original plot
idea —

it’s about turning
obnoxious rich guys
into pet house cats
so they’ll have to
spend more time
with their

Oh well,
at least he
can’t complain
about not getting
enough pussy,

Anyhoo —
back in the
vein of remakes,

I was thinking
that a fertile field
that Hollyweird
has thus-far
failed to tap
is the whole genre of
bad pulp paperbacks
from the
and 1960’s–

After all,
how much
worse can
the movies getacdc
than they are now?

Of course, anybody
who has ever had
the pleasure of
furtively perusing
one of these vintage,
shabby pulp tomes
(as a young boy)
knows that the
interesting content
is all on the cover …..

— the rest of
the book
might as well
be an
encyclopedic entry
set on demonstratingcruel
the literary concept
of boring.


—- Dullsville,

Flat as
a pancake. 

Again, though —
it seems perfectly
in tune with the
current movie trendexp
which provide more
than ample breaks
in the action for the opportunity to go
visit the snack bar
several times during
a feature without
missing so much
as an Ooooh,
or an Ahhhh.

‘Cause at
the movie theatre —

Popcorn is profit.


Come to think about it…

Movies have gone through
all kinds of expensive,libraian
technological changes
over the years —

Dolby Sound,
Digital Animation ….

All to produce,
to average Joe,
is no more than
a hum-drum
minor adrenaline
surge at the
52:17 mark.

can do that,nursey
and has required
absolutely no expensive breakthroughs in
production technologies,

— nor has it
required spiraling
multi-billion dollar
contracts for over-paid
actors, writers,
and the rest of that ilk.

So my idea is that
we print up a few vintage
risque paperback covers
and charge people
to stand in line
at the snack bar
and look at em.

They can useprinc
their imagination
to develop the plots,
all the happy
endings they want.

We simply provide:

a $100 popcorn popper

and a years supply
of popcorn,

artificially flavored
synthetic ‘butter’

( really, just something
to wet the stuff,
but nothing to interfere
with the bland taste
which is so key to today’s sinstreet
cutting edge media
apparently )

plus a soda fountain,


an attendant that moves
slower than molasses,

and of course,
plenty of napkins.

You know,
for the happy


I’ll make a mint.

And they said
I’d never amount
to anything.

HOY !!!!!



Getting Into The Grind

Cheap as I am,
it took a while,
but I finally sprung
for one of those online
movie gadgets to get
stuff on Hulu, Netflix,
and such..

It had seemed to me that
paying almost 200 bucks
a month for cable would
scratch everybody in the
house’s TV itches,
but apparently not.

500 channels-
a mere drop in
the bucket, pal.

Technology marches on.
And so do the costs.

And, now there’s another
HDMI input and cable needed,
and all sorts of new sign-in
codes to remember.

But it has given me a chance
to catch up on a genre of
movies that I had been
meaning to watch
but hadn’t had the

They’re called
‘grind-house’ movies —
and while you’ve probably
seen some of the posters
for these kinds of movies
right here on the
Müscleheaded Blog,
the flicks they advertised
weren’t usually available,
until now with these
new-fangled independent
movie channels.

I like the ones
that promise
stuff in their titles or
advertising that
you know damn well
ain’t really gonna be
in them —
— especially those from
the 1930’s.

(Sure, I guess you could
say the same about us
around here ….. )

I’m sure you’ve heard of
‘pre-code’ movies —

— and that’s not really
what I mean …….

— more like ‘outside-code’ —

movies that weren’t made by
the studios that were part of
the MPPDA Hays Production
Code or shown at the studio
sanctioned/owned theatres.

Of course, the people
who made these movies
still had to be careful
what was shown because
of obscenity laws and such-
so while the subject matter
might have been taboo,
the content usually
was pretty tame.

One example I got to see
was a pretty good example of
what I mean —

— it was 1948’s
“Test Tube Babies”.

The posters suggest some
very racy content,
and indeed,
there were a couple pretty naughty scenes that were fun —

but generally, it was pretty
much 95% sizzle and hardly
any steak.

(reminds me of one of
them there fajitas at Chileez
or Applebuzz )

You might well ask why
someone would expect
some ribald scenes in
a movie about this
particular subject –

— but that’s how the
genre worked —
they had to have
some kind of ‘moral’
or redeeming social
purpose to hang on it –

in this case,
‘educating’ people
about artificial insemination.

I was actually a bit taken
aback to learn something
from it- that they had been
doing those kinds of things
in clinics for decades.

And I guess the history of it
got a little strange on the way,
but why should that surprise

The film’s title is also a
bit misleading, of course,
in more than just one way –
– most folks would have
imagined an in-vitro
fertilization process
(in a petri dish or the like)
would be what was being
talked about, especially from
the whole mention of a ‘test-tube’,
but in actuality, when they did
finally get around to the baby
making, it was the old “squirt-
(from a syringe)-and-then-hope”

A special mention to the
guy playing the doctor —
who had the bed
side manner
of soggy bacon,
— you can always see
more of his hammy acting
style in movies like
Ed Wood’s “Glen Or Glenda”,
and ” Jail Bait “.

As for rating it,
I’d give it a 2 1/2 stars
for the general grab assing
and the swing-party scene
circa 1948 – and about none
for anything else, really.

Which is exactly
what you’d
expect with one
of these flicks.

My advice is:

if you have some time
you’ll never want or
need to get back,
waste an hour
or so, see it,
and pick through
the wasteland.

Then, if you’re not
totally exasperated,
check out these
other ‘grindhouse’ films
whose posters are featured
on this episode of the
Muscleheaded Blog.


fun is where
you find it,
ya know.


!!! HOY !!!

Myrna Loy: Being And Becoming

myrna loyAugust 2nd is the birth anniversary of one of the greatest screen actresses ever —

Miss Myrna Loy.

Ya know….

you feel like a nut.

Sometimes, you don’t.

Sometimes you wanna
write a snarky post about:

weirdos in the news,
mediocre cultural trends,
the life of ‘comme ci, comme ça’,
music trivialities,
or unexceptional days at the gym.tartan

Other times,
— all you can think about is a picture in your head —

One that won’t go away,
and you wouldn’t want it to if it could.

There have been a few ( really, very few ) remarkable and unforgettable people in the American cinema over the last 100 years….

People who will always be recognized as essential to what film meant to our culture — even far into the future.

Names of male stars that come to mind include:
Buster Keaton,
Humphrey Bogart,
John Wayne,
Orson Welles.myrnaloy

And of course, I certainly enjoy their work, especially the Duke’s.

He was ,
and continues to be,
a much admired role model for me.

But I have always had a strong fascination with a group of Hollywood divas who project a certain je ne sais quoi

— a grace, charm, and the ability to make my jaw drop when they appear on screen.

Women like:
Ava Gardner,
Theda Bara,myrnal
Claudette Colbert,
Jean Harlow,
Mae West,
Marilyn Monroe,
Norma Shearer,
Anna May Wong,
Yvonne DeCarlo

….. the list starts to get longer,
once I start thinking about it.

But my favorite–
the woman who makes me stand up
and take notice every time
she shows up on screen, is Myrna Loy.

Myrna played every kind of role imaginable in her 50-some years in Hollywood,

— and she could go from the sweet girl-next-doorbath-myrna-loy

to sultry, strong and sexy–

in a New York second.

Her love of fun and her sense of humor was legendary in a town that could get pretty wild on it’s own —

She was a natural on and off the camera.

In 1991, she was given an honorary Academy Award for:
her extraordinary qualities both on screen and off,
… with appreciation for a lifetime’s worth of indelible performances

Myrna was born a Montana girl in 1905,
-and she grew up in Helena-
the Queen City of the Rockies and the State Capital.

As a matter of fact, her father, David Williams, m
was the youngest person ever to be elected to the Montana State Legislature.

Unfortunately for the family, 1918 brought a pestilence back from the European war, in the form of the Spanish Influenza Epidemic —

which ended up infecting upwards of 500 million people worldwide —

Her father died from it that year,

…. and the family was forced to move to a property they owned near Los Angeles, in Culver City, California.

She described herself later:
“I was a homely kid with freckles that came out every spring and stuck on me till Christmas.”

Once in California, Myrna got involved in amateur drama productions,fountain
–while continuing to study dance —
something she very much enjoyed while living in Montana.

The private school which she was attending, however, objected to her participation in these creative outlets,

… and eventually, she enrolled in Venice Public High School in order to continue them.

One of the things Myrna is still remembered for there–

is that, at age 17, in 1921, she posed for a famous statue —

— called ” Fountain of Education ” by Harry Fielding Winebrenner,

And that statue —

( technically, a bronze duplicate of the original cement figure )

still stands on the Venice campus today.nightingale

The piece, described at the time by the Los Angeles Times as a:

“vision of purity, grace, youthful vigor, and aspiration”,

…. couldn’t have been modeled by a more perfect girl —

— Ok–
she, herself would have later argued the point:

…. although she was considered by many to project the very image of a ‘perfect wife’ as Nora Charles in the Thin Man series.

” Some perfect wife I am. I’ve been married four times, divorced four times, have no children, and can’t boil an egg. “

Well, anyway, perfection can be so….
….. so, boring.myrna

And Myrna was never that.

Honest, funny, gorgeous, vital, self-aware, enthusiastic, sensual — yes.

Rudolph Valentino was instrumental in getting Myrna her first ‘big break’ in moving pictures,

and by 1925, she was working in bit parts for Warner Brothers Studios.

The studio changed her last name to Loy,

and they started casting her as a mysterious femme fatale in films like “The Mask of Fu Manchu” and “Thirteen Women” —

She made over 80 films between 1925 and 1934, including “Manhattan Melodrama”–

— a popular gangster film–

myand the film John Dillinger went to see, right before he was shot dead by FBI agents, at the Biograph theatre in Chicago.

Of course, the role that changed her whole acting career came in 1934- the year she was cast as Nora Charles in the “Thin Man”, with William Powell.

This pairing with Powell resulted in what people back then called ‘Pure Chemistry’ —

And they would end up making 5 Thin Man movies,
and a total of 14 films together.

She remembered the role very fondly :

Her beauty,
added to her charm, wit, and sense of humor came across wonderfully in those “Thin Man” movies–

….. and Myrna became an important star in high demand.

She obviously enjoyed working with William Powell,

… and they were great friends off screen as well:myrna

” I never enjoyed my work more than when I worked with William Powell.
He was a brilliant actor, a delightful companion, a great friend and, above all, a true gentleman. “

But, according to both Myrna and Wm. Powell– never lovers.

if that’s the case,
I can’t help but feel sorry for William Powell.

Because when someone puts the words “incredibly” and “sexy” together ,
my mind instantly goes to an image of Myrna Loy. myrna

Myrna Loy created a body of work that very few actresses will ever be able to match,
in terms of comedic and dramatic quality —

Her death at age 88 in 1993,
closed a life that was full of adventure, challenges, and joy.

— She always had lived her life by her motto :
Life is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming.”

When I think of Myrna,
I remember a quote of hers when she was describing why she loved playing Nora Charles…..

And I’ve always been struck by just how much she might have been describing her self.

myrna” Nora had a gorgeous sense of humor;
She appreciated the distinctive grace of her husband’s wit.
She laughed at him, and with him when he was funny.
What’s more, she laughed at herself.
Besides having tolerance, she was a good guy.
She was courageous and interested in living–
— and she enjoyed doing all the things she did.

You understand, she had a good time, always. “

And may that be said of all of us, my friends.


PS: If you’re enjoyed this post, please drop me a comment and let me know.

If you didn’t ….
…. awwww,
well, feel free to keep that to yourself.




“Vamp” – Theda Bara

rolfThere was no actress who steamed up the screens
of early motion picture
theatres more than
Theda Bara– – –

She has been called
the original ‘vamp’:

and she really was
the American silent
screen’s first sex symbol.

Theda appeared in more than 40 films,

and although many a1
of them are now lost….

those films that remain
extant show an actress
who totally understood
how to project a personal
sense of smoldering, exotic
sensuality and desirability
through the camera lens.

The ‘vamp’ archetype
is an old one —

Men have almost
an inborn taste
for the idea
of a provocative,
dominant, wanton,
and assertive female,

who uses the power
of her femininity
and sexuality to ‘seduce’
them away from their
sense of ethics and judgement –

mystery—- capable of ‘taking control’
of their resources and their passions,

Even to the point of personal ruin.

Theda played that role
on screen like no one ever had,
and no one ever will—

….even modern literature
has rarely seen such
1aan intense characterization
of this concept —

And in this respect,
her performances have
more affinity for the
psychologist than the
cinema student.

The scripts could be
vastly different,

….. but she always brought
this allegorical aspect
into her characters.

In movies like:
“A Fool There Was”,
“The Devil’s Daughter”,
“Gold and the Woman”,
“The Unchastened Woman”,
and “When a Woman Sins”,

….. she played the head-strongthedabara ambitious female
that would stop at nothing
to get what she wanted-

whether the motive
was a mercenary one,

….. or whether her character
was driven by desire
for the fulfillment
of deeper needs and passions.1916

In the classic films:
and the “Eternal Sappho”,

…. her rendering of the vamp
reflected the idea that sex itself
was subject to the darker forces a2
of the anima and animus
over which a person could
have very little control.

She also played more
classical divas like “Cleopatra”,

and Juliet in “Romeo and Juliet”,

thedabara……but always with that very unique Theda Bara edge.

The costumes used in a
Theda Bara picture were
often very alluring and transparent–

Her beautiful buxom figure,
deep set eyes, and almost
mesmerizing body language
combined to complete the package —

The effect that she had
on audiences can be
partly experienced by simply
looking at posters and publications
from the era featuring her image.sins

Male audience members
couldn’t take their eyes off her,

…… and women would
often faint or scream
during a performance.

Her impact on screen was magnified by the fact that movies were still in their infancy,

….and most audience members
had some degree of difficulty
remembering that what
they were seeing in the theatre
wasn’t reality, despite the
lack of sound or color.

She was quite aware of this effect,
and although she sometimes
tired of the ‘vamp’ role,

she was quoted in the 1920’s as saying:

“I will continue doing
vampires as long as people sin”.

1aWhile some film critics
like to speak of actresses
like the beautiful Clara Bow
as the earliest example
of a silent screen sex symbol,

Theda Bara’s work predates the
“It Girl” by almost 10 years,

….and while Clara’s persona
was one very in tune
with the twenties —
fun loving, perky,
and somewhat even innocent,

Bara’s work was Gothic,bara
darkly Jungian, and cerebral —

— as if nudging the
unconscious mind
where unresolved
fears and lusts,
the by-products of an
industrial age, still lurked.

(and still lurk)

Bara was born in 1885,
in Cincinnati, Ohio,
as Theodosia Burr Goodman,

…..and first appeared on stage
at the age of 23 in a play
called “The Devil” (1908).

Her first film was made in 1914,
in New York, called “The Stain”,

(she made 4 more in
the following year )

…. but within three years,
she, along with most of rest
of the fledgling motion
picture industry, had
moved to Hollywood, California.

aShe retired in 1926, and consequently, never made a ‘talking picture’.

She worked mainly for Fox Studios,

and when the Fox nitrate-film archive in New Jersey burned down in 1937,

—– most of her films
burned with it.

What we have left of her work
are some short previews,
fragments of clips, and
complete copies of only 6 films.

And, of course,
—- these wonderful posters and pictures.

One added point —

henry cliveThere are several very
important pin up art pieces,
that were inspired by Miss Bara —

The top picture on this post
was painted by Rolf Armstrong.

Another, this one on the right,
featuring Miss Bara as Cleopatra,
was painted by Henry Clive.

And, of course,
there was a set of
pictures taken of Marilyn Monroe,
doing homage to Theda Bara
as Cleopatra, as well.

A picture from that series is below.



So, here’s to beautiful,
sensual women of every age and era !!!!!