Dorothy Parker says:

Dorothy Parker

“If you wear a
short enough skirt,
the party will come
to you.”

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Doin’ The Donut

1948As you’ve probably have learned
from reading the Muscleheaded Blog —

There’s a lot about
the previous generations
that they never told us about.

We grew up thinking
that they didn’t have all that many vices to speak of —

….. at least,
I did.

Anddoll
boy howdy,
were we misled.

I guess maybe it was
just a whole lot easier
to keep their
whims,
peccadilloes,
and fancies secret
than it is for us today.

doughnutgames

But,
we can always
get a glimpse
of just how weirddonutgames
they were back then,
from their printed matter–

— like advertising,
and
of course,
postcards
and brochures.

This interesting submission
came to ushole
all the way
from California.

If emails needed stamps,
that woulda got
kinda expensive.

And somehow,
I shouldn’t be all
that surprised
that it came from
there, either.um

Yes,
my friends…..

The next time your party
starts to go flatter than one
of Suzie Wonder’s
gluten-free pancakes–

You can become the
life of the gang bang,
with this handy guide.

It’s called:
The Most Popular
Donut Games
” —
and features 9 or 10
exciting and festive excuses
— to buy a bunch of donuts.bend

( Sure, you could just eat ’em,
but what fun would there be in that? )

It contains some very
strange suggested diversions –

Like this illustration
on how to eat donuts
‘doggie style’.

I dunno if a poodle skirtdonutqueen
is optional or not.

But I like the hands-tied-
behind-the-back idea,
anyway.

Nothing says “PARTY” to me
like bondage.

Also included,
are a complete set of rules
for amusing yourself and your party guests with :

The Donut Snatch Dance.

Yes, sure,
the namea1
suggests an interesting
party concept for sure…

But in this case,
it’s simply about
making chicks
carry a donut around
on a red ribbon
while the guys at the
party try to take a bite out of it.

If they get a piece…,
of her donut,
that is… ,
they get a dance.

I’m so disappointed.

Still, it has potential.

You could substitute for1951
the donut, I guess…

And the prize could have
been upgraded on demand,
for all I know.

While I’m no fan of donuts,

(well, ok,
a nice French Cruller
every once in a while
goes nice with a double espresso)

—— any excuse
for friskiness at a boring party,
no matter how mundane,
is OK with me.donutime

Hey, man —
It’s always Do-Nut time.

Umm…
……. yeah.

 

 

And since
I’m obviously still writing
the same tawdry kitsch
I’ve been doing for 15 years now,

—– these submissions are
right up my alley.

Of course,
one of these days,
I might even start dunk
getting good at it,
too… dammit.

Hey–
it could happen.

And I do love donuts.

Oh,
and by the way,1957
friends, remember–

The next time
you place your order ,
Don’t forget to say :

NO ANCHOVIES, PLEASE.

Ahem.

Hey Mister Moose–
Myrna says:
Have A Donut !!!!!

HOY!

myrnasayshaveadonut

Let’s Have A Py-Jama Party

Hiya.

Sorry to sound chipper
about it, but another
summer has come
and it has gone,
and I’m actually looking
forward to autumn,
which is my favorite
time of year.

I get very retrospective
and contemplative
every fall,
for some reason,
and I think you’ll
probably think
thatpajama I’ve lost my mind
for wondering about
some of the stuff that
I do, but …

Today’s post is about that
great unresolved mystery
in every young boy’s life —

— the question of what really
goes/went on in those
girl-type pajama parties,
like my cousins used to have.

Don’t give me all that
innocence and
sunflowers fluff-

They couldn’t possibly
have been as staid and
boring as that and still
have been so popular.

I know there has to be
some deep dark secret

and I’m determined to
get to the bottom of it.

That’s just the
kinda guy I am.

Secret rituals,
enigmatic costumes,
blood sacrifices —
hey, who knows?

But nobody’s talking.

At least, they’re not giving
me the hot skinny, and
of that, I’m pretty sure.

Far be it for me to suspect that anything Annette was involved in
could be suspect, but why the shorty night-gown?

Hmmm…
well…
since I don’t have
much to go on,
I guess what I really need
to do is to investigate
what girls who participated
claimed to have went on,
and figure out if it’s possible
to entertain yourself for
10 or 12 hours that way.

Cause it don’t seem
right to me, somehow…

All those girls in one place,
without an ounce of
testosterone to add some…
well….
let’s say,
spice to the party.

If nothing else,
it kinda pisses me off.

Us guys have to good
for something, right ??
RIGHT?

Damn right.

I did hear bad stories
about boys who had
tried to eavesdrop
over the years and
crash the proverbial
(ok, so it’s
not so proverbial)
party —
and it weren’t
purty, either –
I can tell you that.

That makeup stuff takes
forever to get off ya,
apparently.

And if the other guys
saw what they ended
up wearing —

— you’d never be
able to show up
for football
practice again.

Except maybe as
a cheerleader.

Well, figure you
already got
the pom-poms
anyway…..

…….. errrrr.
wait.

This write is already getting
outta hand a bit, and I’m
no closer to the keys to
this very curious conundrum.

And they’re already
bringing out the
Vaudeville hook.

Damn…
that happens to
me all the time.

!!! HOY !!!