Obey The Impulse, Or Not

It’s hard to explain
just what this post
looked like in the
back of my mind
when I first conceived

it was something
that someone
said about the whole
experience of
‘living on the impulse’
that had
panged and
at the
very tiny creative part
of my mind and
eventually came
to interest me as a
post topic.

As soon as I started
to write about
what I was thinking,
however —

— peculiar societal memories
of commercial products
(like chewing gum, snacks,
and soda pop) and vintage
behave-yourself propaganda
(like sexual health brochures)
kept popping up –

– naughtily intermingling –

though I’m not exactly sure
how they’re all connected,


I guess the subconscious
message I got early in life
was, if you’re spending
money, you should give
into the impulse to buy –

– but, if you’re just having
free fun, then you should
go do something else
more constructive, instead –
like making more money
to buy more stuff.

Still, that doesn’t seem
exactly right…..

‘Cause hardly anybody’s
grand-mother charged
grand-dad to have a
good time –
and we’re all here,

And it’s not like anybody
with any sense could
think that eating a ‘Twinkie’
could or would constitute
the same qualitative
potential enjoyment value
as would a significant other –

– errr…. I mean,

‘letting it all hang out’
with a significant other.

(Based on just flavor alone,
you can see the error in that,
I’m sure, but I digress).

I do like those raspberry
flavored ‘Zingers’ a lot,
but let’s not get ridiculous,

And GUM ?

In general, chewing gum
is pretty much a substitute
for doing nothing at all –

— it certainly is not a feast
for the senses and never
has been.

Two seconds of a weird
and then it’s just
rubbery sensory

Hell, the worst intimate
tryst that I ever experienced
contained more bursts
of excitement and pleasure
than that, for crying out

(10 more seconds worth,
at least….. )

Blow as hard you want,
it’s still just gum, man.

So maybe I misunderstood
what ‘they’ve’ been trying
to tell us —

–or maybe the message
has changed ??

Is there a message at all?

Is this all just
random nonsense?

Oh, damn.

And I thought it was
gonna get deep.

!!! HOY !!!


Irène Némirovsky says:

Irène Némirovsky” It wasn’t just about the pleasure of the flesh.
No, it wasn’t that simple.
The flesh is easy to satisfy.
It’s the heart that is insatiable,
the heart that needs to love,
to despair,
to burn with any kind of fire…
That was what we wanted.
To burn, to be consumed,
to devour our days just as fire devours the forest.”  

I Am A Curious Yeller Feller

asquirtI always find it amusing
looking back at how
I saw the world as a kid,

…. as opposed to
how I see it now.

Not that I’ve learned anything,
but it’s still funny.

Squirt was my favorite soda in the sixties–

aquenchAnd, it never occurred to me at the time
that the name of that soft drink
would make me laugh every time
I heard it when I grew up,

— although it always did seem
to have a vaguely ribald undertone….

I dunno if many of my readers
remember the furor caused curious
by a little Swedish film back
in the late 1960’s called
I Am Curious, Yellow” —

It was one of those films that,
despite having very little
‘objectionable’ material in it,

…. was a source of much controversy
and consternation on the part
of a large group of American blue noses–spicy

Mostly referred to as part of the:
“Moral Majority”.


Don’t get me started
on that whole MM malarkey.

I was just a kid
during that time,

and the movie was rated
‘X’, or
‘R’ in some areas, I guess…

But I did manage to sneak
into the local Warner Theatre,burlesk

( there was this back door
at the Warner that was NEVER locked —

and I could never figure out why
EVERYBODY didn’t just go in that way )

— to see all the hot sex
and nasty violence I had heard so much about.


……….. another disappointment.

It seemed to me as a kid
that adult entertainment during the 1960’s,y
— was more about–

a tiny amount of titillation
followed by a big hunk of:
non-event and frustration.

Maybe that’s why that generation liked
burlesque, strip-teases,
and Betty-Page-in-Bondage so much.

Of course,
as I’ve gotten older,

I’ve not only gotten used to the whole anti-climactic thing,

but I’ve come to understand it and embrace it —lili

… both,
symbolically and practically.

And that’s a major accomplishment
for a guy with the patience level of a rutting moose.

It might have something to do with hormones, I guess.

When you’re 15,
everything is better NOW ,

Remember the song “Chevy Van” ?

It was a song about a guy
appreciating just how beautiful,
and utterly lovely,
a hitchhiker he picked up was —

And how he proceeded
to boink her in the back of his van,
and then dump her in some Podunk town.

Talk about ‘anti-climactic’ .

But you see,
…. that’s what it’s all about when you’re young —

You’re not really thinking about anything else …

The ‘value-added’ stuff —-


witty banter,

lingerie, even —

Just doesn’t seem to matter.

RELEASE is all that seems important.

But you see,hedy
release is only really good,
…. if there’s also resistance to release.

In weightlifting terms–
Strength + Control = Power .

And you only learn that kinda stuff through experience.

It reminds me of something my grandfather told me,

when I was about 15,

…. after watching me INHALE a glass of champagne,
at some otherwise forgotten holiday meal.

” Christopher —
You sip the finer things in life, billrandall
so you can enjoy them —

— you don’t glup them down,
so you can’t even taste them .”

I don’t think he was talking
about the same thing I am now,
…… but maybe he was.

After all,
his generation was much smarter
than I ever gave them credit for.