The Daily Retro: School Marm

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The Friday Mail Bag

shingleDeep,
deep
deep
down
in the very depths
of the mailbag —

—-  lurks …..

Well,
who knowsatake
WHAT.

But,
we’re gonna try
and find out
on today’s post.

This is the
ultimate
grab-bag post….

I got no plan,
no sequence,
no theme.

Just stuff my
readers have tempt
sent me,

that I stashed away
for the day
when I’d figure out
how to put it
to some use.

And obviously,

I haven’t done a
real good job
with that, so far.

There are some really
interesting pieces here,
though,paris

— and it would
be a shame
for them to rust away
in digital purgatory,

until the time comes
when I get my head
outta my ass.

I’m beginning
to think
it’s stuck there
permanently,
so……a2

What’s really scary is that
I’ve finally figured how to
walk around that way.

Anyhoo…….

If you wanna reach
down there with me,

well, I’m more
than comfortable with that.lenticular

A little more to the left, please.

Ahem.

Order me another shot of
Wild Turkey and Seven-Up,
and we’ll see what we come up with.

Now, I know you’re probably
thinking that
Yer Ole Uncle Nuts
has gone all sloppy,

and is now
reduced to posting
blurry pictures of hotties
for his own amusement.

And, while that’s probably
true to some point,
In this case, it’s not so.lenticular

Those postcards are was
were called ‘Lenticular’ cards,
from the 1960’s.

What we’d call 3-D.

Move it around, and you get a different view.

One minute,
she’s got clothes on,

The next minute,
she don’t.

Ahhh….
——- if life could only
be THAT simple.

.1906

The first example of a lenticular card
I could find is from 1906….

They appear to be making
rather nice, nice
in a tunnel of love.

Wooooo Hooooooo .

As long as they don’t tip the boat over.

.

juliachildOh,
now this postcard
is a fascinating one  —

Did you know Julia Child
and her husband Paul had a ‘reputation’ ?

And,
yep–
that’s them alright.

Writer Nora Ephron wrote
that Julia and her husband, Paul,
led the sex life of “a couple of rabbits”.

Apparently, it workedoffice
pretty well for them —
—  they were married over 50 years.

I guess everything does go
better with butter.

.

I got this next set
from my boss at work.

He just hired a very
vivacious new office assistant,

…. and I was bitchin’ that
I need/deserve one more
than he does.a3

So he found me one.

Actually,
several.

Hardeeey
Har Har.

That’s all
I got
to say.

That,

—– and he can
forget me pullin’
any more overtimexoffice
for a while.

One of these days,
Alice…..

one of these days.

Bang Zoom.

One of the most popular
Mutoscope card series
in the 1940’s was
called “Your Future Mate ” —shave

You put in your penny,

— and the machine
spat out a card
describing somebody’s idea
of who you
were matched with.

I don’t know whose match
“Lotta Beaver” was —
( Really?
“The Human Soup
Strainer?” )

Or whether they were aware
of the depth of the weird
double entendre
they were making.

But, take it from me….unsafe

Shaved
really is better.

Just sayin’.

.

Ya know…..

( How do you
like that
for a totally
non-sequitur segue ? )

Some guys
don’t understand –
-the powers-
of flowers.Image result for french postcard flowers

But I do.

A simple thing
like a
bouquet of posies
can turn
your girl’s day around.

And that’s always
gonna mean
a good thing
for you, too.

Here’s proof.flowers

This French guy
just got there —
and he’s already
in the chips.

The postcard is
from around 1905 —
it’s hand-tinted, and gorgeous.

Speaking of flowers….

….. if you’ve never read
my post “What Color Is Your Rose” —

Well,
now’d be a good damn time
to catch up on your reading.

‘Cause I am out
till next time.

Hoy!

stop

Just Say Au Revoir

1951” Hello,
I must be going,
I cannot stay,
I came to say,
I must be going.
I’m glad I came,
but just the same
I must be going. “

These famous ‘parting’ lines
were uttered by Groucho Marx
in the film
” Animal Crackers ” ….

It’s certainly an
interesting way
to make an entrance/exit,
isn’t it ?

Or,
as Paul McCartney would say it:goodb
You say goodbye
and I say hello”

And it all boils down to this:

How hard is it to say ‘adios’ sometimes?

Pretty damned hard —

And I hate long goodbyes
to begin with.

One of my fantastic readers
gave me an idea for a post
a long time ago, and I’ve
been mulling it over ever
since —

I even came up
with a fancy-pants thisles
title and everything.

Hell,
I’ve been thinking
so hard about it,
I forgot who gave
me the damn idea
in the first place.

They do say that
as you get older,
— memory is the second
thing to go, ya know.

I’m glad I can’t count.

Anyhoo,

So, if it was you
from whom
I stole the idea,bless
….well…

I’m truly sorry
—– for mangling it like
I’m about to do.

Probably most everybody
remembers the Paul Simon
song
Fifty Ways To Leave
Your Lover
” —

He does give
some pretty
interesting examples,
for sure.

Like:
Make a new plan, Stan
and
Hop on the bus, Gus” —sailor

and those are fine,
—- if your name happens
to be Stan or Gus
( my sincerest sympathies )

but,
what if your name is
Myron or Jose ?

Don’t quote Byron, Myron…

Just Mozzay, Jose.

Nope…
I don’t think that works
anywhere as well.

Hmmmm….
So what’s a guy to do ?buddy

The friendly neighborhood
postcard publishers of
the early 1900’s
liked to produce cards for
just about every occasion,

—- and since
‘goodbyes’ are
notoriously hard to
say otherwise,
they pitched in to
do their part–

and boy did they.

There are literally
thousands of different
postcards, all basically
saying:

Sayonara,girl

Ciao,

Cherrio,

Get Into The Wind,

Toodles,

Leavin’ On A Jet Plane,

Catch Ya On The Flip Flop,

Peace Out,

Gonna Go Live With Granny,

Bon Chance,

Ticket To Ride,forever

So Long,

Laytah Gaytah,

Gotta Catch A Train,

I’ll Get Me Coat,

Hasta la vista Baby,

Adieu Sweet Stranger,duty

Buh-bye.

Oh sure,
I guess
there are much
more poetic ways
of communicating it.

I mentioned Lord Byron
earlier…
(at least, I think I did… )

And I always found his
So We’ll Go No More A Roving
verse rather appropriate:

” Though the night
was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,tosti
Yet we’ll go no more a roving
By the light of the moon. “

Ahh…
but,
therein lies the rub.

It’s not just finding
the right words,
but getting the courage up,
fighting back the tears,
saying the words
in the right way,

and then handling
the reaction,
(whatever that may be) —

Yow-
man,turtley
talk about a Gordian knot.

A postcard,
on the other hand,
only requires
a stamp and an address.

Add a “Dear John”
or “Dear Jeanette”,
and
you’re done with
the whole thing.

Fait Accompli.

It does seem kinda
cold-blooded
to do it that way.1912

But,
I guess the
immense variety
of ‘goodbye’ postcards
just goes to show how
difficult the whole thing
can be to say face to face.

And sometimes,
…. it was actually
the ONLY way of saying it….

War,
of one ilk or another,
seems to have produced
the majority of them —

Another surprise, huh?girlie

I guess of all
human enterprises,
war tends to be
the most universally
destructive and invasive —
not only to life and property,
but also to relationships
and human happiness.

And the cards reflect that.

Some are really touching
and tender.

Others just make you
wonder, man.

So, as my friend
Julie would say:
HAPPY TRAILS To YOU

.

HOY !

.

yours