Slightly On The Inside

A good joke can have
a lotta components to
it, I guess.

I’ve always found
that visual humor
is by far the best,
for me, anyway,
because it gives me
as much time
as I need to get
the joke.

Speed may kill,
but being slow
can be murder
when it comes
to reacting to
a punchline.

Or ,
put another way,
as Stephen Fry
likes to say:

” He who laughs last,
thinks slowest. “

For instance –
let this one sink in:

I’m sure we’ve all
wondered at one time
or another how much
deeper the ocean
would be without
sponges.

No?

Ok,
try to explain the
50-50-90 rule:

” Anytime you have a
50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s
a 90% probability you’ll
get it wrong. “.

I dunno –
those percentages
may not add up
all that great….

And I hate math.

Try this:

They’ve come up with a
new politically correct
term for dead folks —

“electroencephalo-
graphically challenged”. 

Too cerebral?

On the other hand,
well,
you have different fingers.

Now, if somebody
just threw one of
those at you
without any warning,
you might be caught
gasping for air like
a pirarucu in the deep
end of the wave pool
while you muddled the
whole thing out.

But, visual humor gives
you precious time to
choose just how the
fuck funny you think
something is.

Or is not.

And I always enjoy
sharing these kinds
of things with
our readers,
and
– of course,
reading their
comments about it.

So, don’t be a buzz-kill,
man —

— drop me a line and
tell me what you like !

Remember:
I may have started out
with nothing, but I still
have most of it.

.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!

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Reflecting The Halloween Season

oukid3Tomorrow will be 
Friday the 13th.

And 17 days
until Halloween.

Interesting.

There have been many
fascinating aspects of
celebrating the Hallowe’en Holiday over the years….

Some,
like door-to-door
‘trick or treat’,
are only now
starting to wane
from popularity,
as our culture
continues to get
more dangerous
and the holiday
evolves into a
more adult
oriented one.

Other customs —

like, for instance,
the time-honored
‘midnight magic mirror’-
a1
— have completely lost
most of it’s relevance
and meaning to the
contemporary
observances.

Still,
it is an interesting facet
in early 20th century
Halloween folklore —

The idea that:
at midnight,
on Halloween night,
an unmarried maiden
or gentleman might,
if the candles are lit just right,
and he or she be pure of heart,
be enabled to behold their
future spouse in the reflection
of the looking glass.

Charming,
right?

And judging from the
media of the time,
something that many folks actually believed could happen.

Hey–
all kinds of strange things
go bump on the night of Halloween —
so why not ?

Superstitious or not — destiny
I’m sure it made for some spooky fun.

I imagine it had a numinous quality that was very appealing to folks.

The images of this rite abound in postcards of the time.

We all know that the folks of the early 1900’s were postcard crazy–

They sent cards
for any and all occasions.

It seems like this
was especially the
case around Halloween.oukid

It will absolutely amaze you
how many different varieties
and themes of Halloween
postcards that there
were published…
mainly between
1900 and 1930.

And of course,
before Halloween arrives,
you can certainly
expect me to revisit
this theme again.

But today,
we’ll look at just
two of the
popular motifs —

The Magic Mirror,
like you can see in cards
# 3, 4 and 7…

and another
very interesting
fancy from the time —

themed on the
‘ O U KID ‘ .

(cards #1, 6, and 8) oukid2

If you caught my post
on the whole ‘ Oh, You Kid
craze —
(of course, you did… )
you won’t be surprised
to see it appear on the
Halloween cards of the period.

And here it is.

The rather subtle sexuality inferred in the expression,
and the stranger qualities
of the vintage version of the holiday mixes surprisingly
well on these cards.

I’ve always felt that halloween
Halloween
had an inherent sexy
undertone about it,
and apparently,
so did our ancestors.

Even the magic mirror cards
invoke a mystical romanticism —

And everybody knows how
sensual candlelight is, right ???

HOY!

.

 

Fruit and Veggie Speak

Hmmmm….
remembering our post from Thursday, I guess that we do seem to be on a weird kind of fruity trip the last coupla
days …

— maybe we’ll throw some
veggies in there today,
and see if we can get
some kinda pyramid
going, I dunno……

Actually,
it sounds kinda fun,
when ya put it like that…. 

As I said…..

Our post today features
some Fruit and Veggies —

But, it’s not of those
ponderous health-based
tomes on why you should
eat all the broccoli in
your favorite take-out
Stir-Fry dish —

— despite the fact that
the place you get it
from puts five times
more broccoli in the
dish than beef —

and that they should
call it “Broccoli and Beef”
instead of
“Beef and Broccoli”
if they’re gonna do that —

(hey, don’t blame me-
— I won’t touch the stuff)

No–

today we’re going
much weirder-

— as we ask the
hard hitting questions
that’s on everyones’
mind these days —

What’s the language
of vegetables?

And : 

Does your favorite
fruit describe aspects
of your personality
bad habits
and/or love life?

Well, according
to several hundreds
of different
vintage postcard designs-

— yeah, sorta.

It’s all very
tongue in cheek,
you might say-
and some of the references
get pretty obscure.

Well, you can see
for yourself.

Mushrooms and Love —
” Thrive Best In The Dark” 

Hmmm….

I dunno,
maybe they have
a point there.

Among the artists who
created postcards based
on this rather unusual
anthropomorphic theme
was the British illustrator
George Studdy, known
for his ‘Bonzo’ the dog
cartoons.

His vegetal postcards,
called “Fruity Fables”,
were so popular that
they ran into several
series over the years.

A favorite of mine is
“Aunt Gooseberry
Runs True To Type” —

Hey, we’ve all been
there, haven’t we?

You’ll find puns galore —

this card about
the language of apples —

true to the corps ?

Oh man,
that one makes you want
to start throwing them.

But I’m sure somebody
must have found it
a-peel-ling, I guess.

Ahem.

Now, whether anyone
can really learn anything
important about humanity,

-however botanical in nature-

from these cards,
or others like it,
is still up for question.

Collecting them
is fun, though —

They’re colorful and
speak to a much simpler time….

Even if you don’t
lose your leaf over them.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Flying High

hello1Our Muscleheaded Blog readers
are a wonderful group of folks,

— let me tell you.

They send me some VERY cool stuff, too.

I had been saving a couple of these
submissions for just the right post…

But I guess I’m waiting for a flight
that ain’t never gonna arrive,

— so this post will have to do.

Vintage postcards that have to do
with flying and romance.

Now,
you might ask what these
two things have to do with each other….

Plenty,
man, plenty —

— you’ve never heard of the
‘Mile High Club’,
for instance?

Or Frank Sinatra singing his classic:

Come Fly With Me ” ?

Flying,
in and of itself,
is a very romantic activity —7eave

And back when it was first developed —

Well, yeah,
even more so.

There’s all sorts of things
going on in your head,

— while you’re up there in the ole wild blue yonder —

And having an interesting woman
in the jump seat
just amps up the excitement to eleven.

Ahem.

a1The limited space in those old
two seaters did complicate things a bit,

of course.

But like the man says….

It was just a new way
to play an old game.

And….

as we all know,a4

despite another song’s
assertion to the contrary,

there really ain’t no
regularly scheduled flights to the moon —

And I’m pretty sure
you couldn’t make that trip,

like these nice folks seem to have done,

in a 1920’s bi-plane, anyway.

Sure, I know —

Fokker .

Uh huh.a1

Really…

If,
and I say IF,

he or she is gonna fly you to the moon,

……… it’s gonna have to be purely symbolic.

But it does sounds pretty fun, too.

It’s easy to see:

Love is a lot like flying —

One minute you’re up in the air,
having the time of your life,

And the next minute,a2
your engines are backfiring,

and you crash land
into one of them there
24 hour Wedding Chapels
with Elvis look-alikes for ministers
and strippers for witnesses.

Hmmm…..

Maybe I’ve said
too much,
I dunno.

This last piece was done by
the great pin up artist Gil Elvgren
in the 1940’s,

………… and was entitled “Tail Wind”.

HOY!

.

Mail Bag Mania

jen

Dia dhuit !

You just never
know what’s going
to show up in the Ole
Muscleheaded Mailbag,
and I’ve gotta say–

–today’s seee-lection
is a cross-section of
just about everything
and anything.

If indeed
variety is the spice
of life,

— well,a1
this is one
‘MOY CALIENTE’ post.

Wait–
now that I think of it,
I’m pretty sure that
means a different
kinda hot

which of course,
I would admit readily,holymilkmen
but I probably meant
to say ‘MOY PICANTE’ !

Languages..
— meh.

Damn that leanin’
Tower of Babel, anyway.

All I can say is never
offer to pet a big
drag queen’s cat (chatte)z3
in Paris unless you’re very,
very fluent in the language,
man….

— those cobblestones in
Montmartre can be real
hard on the head !

Oh well, it was only a
French Mistake‘ in a
manner of speaking.

Ahem.

I sure am lucky that
nobody ever reads
these things, right?

Whew.bottomless65

So,
as I was saying
before I went
and did some
deep sea diving
in the bottomless pit
of offbeat, obscure
references….

It’s time for our verytj
popular feature
the Muscleheaded Mailbag
in which we reveal the
innermost contents of the
secret hard-drive ZX-01A

– used to store only the most
neat-o of submissions sent
to us by our lovely readers.1938

We used to have
a floppy disk,
but people kept sending
us dirty stuff,
so now it’s a
hard drive all the way,
… N-How.

Flash drive?zhere

Naaah–

I don’t even like the
sound of that, man.

Just one wrong move
and you’re back
to floppy.

Double entendre?

Yes, please —

make it a triple.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

mexicali

Thanks for the submissions to :
Jen
Katie
Syn
and Karen !

ztj

Says The Dutch Kids

a1One of the most interesting
aspect of the disease of
postcard collecting is the
overwhelming variety —

there are just so
many subjects,
so many themes,
so many characters,
so many artists —a4

— it’s hard to narrow down
your interests to just
one or two.

Which of course,
is why I don’t do it.

And why I can’t park a5
in my own garage.

If it’s a vintage postcard,
I’ll probably find it fascinating.

Even if the art isn’t great,
the written inscription
or the stamp or
the kind of media that a3
it’s printed on might be.

Now, we all know that
it’s easy to offend people
these days, heaven knows,
–and postcards in the
early 1900’s weren’t
exactly printed agreeable
to 2017 P.C. sensibilities.
a6
Most of the time,
I decide whether I’m going
to repost a card based
on it’s interesting qualities,
but I will consider the potential
for genuinely hurt feelings
and original hurtful intent.

If it’s just cruel, demeaning
or insulting to a group of a7
people or ethnicity,
I won’t post it.

Using that formula —

These harmless, charming
‘Dutch Kids’ pass the test
with flying colors for both.

Anyone who’d be offended a2
by these things is just
looking for a fight.

(And I’m the one
who’ll give ’em one, too.)

The theme was very popular
between 1890 and 1925 —
this set dates from around World War I.

Enjoy !

a8