I always hated math in school.

It’s just one of those subjects

I can’t get my mind around.

Oh sure,

2 + 2 = 4 is okay , I guess….

But when you start

adding letters like A + B

and getting a number

as an answer-

well,

Mister Man…

— you lost me there.

To me,

A + B = AB .

If *that* was right,

why wouldn’t 2 + 2

be equal to 22 ?

Hey,

for all I know about math,

it is, somehow.

How the hell should I know?

But, nobody ever accused me

of being a rocket scientist.

Part of the problem

I always had with

math in school

was that nobody

could explain to me

how a mathematical

process *really* worked

in practical language

that even a cretin like I

(ok -like ‘me’)

could understand.

I mean,

I just couldn’t understand:

WHY you don’t get PIE

with a Pie chart….

or why “PI”

is so much more of an ‘irrational’

than not getting pie with a pie chart…

or why it’s perfectly fine

to have imaginary numbers

in an algebraic equation,

but wrong to have

an imaginary hottie girlfriend

named “Wendy”.

or what difference ‘New Math’

makes over ‘Old Math’,

when I still can’t get the

right answer, anyway.

or why the batch of rubber

I laid in the school parking lot

with my Dad’s 1972 Torino

didn’t count as a “Ford Circle” —

or why any test on “Probability Theory”

always resulted in a 90 percent conjecture

that I was gonna fail it…..

or why the solution

to every “Boolean Function”

proved ‘Evasive’ —

and ended up

making me feel like a Foolean.

or why my Math Teacher

grading on a “Bell Curve”

always landed me

somewhere down near the clapper.

Let’s face it —

you could make

ANYTHING* beyond complicated*

with Mathematics.

Take a simple idea like:

“How do you put

an elephant in a refrigerator?”

And forget the logical stuff

like:

“Why would you WANT

to put an elephant in a refrigerator?”

Because a math whiz

could still give you

a dozen equations for how to do it.

Oh–

you just:

*” Let ϵ>0*

*ϵ>0. Then for all such ϵ*

*ϵ, there exists a δ>0*

*δ>0 such that*

*∣ ∣ ∣ elephant2 n ∣ ∣ ∣ <ϵ*

*|elephant2n|<ϵ for all n>δ*

*n>δ . Therefore
lim n→∞ elephant2 n =0.*

*limn→∞elephant2n=0. “*

Or:

*“Since 1/2 n <1/n 2*

*1/2n<1/n2 for n≥5 n≥5 , *

*by comparison, we know
that ∑ n≥1 elephant2 n “*

Or:

*” There exists an affine transformation
F:R 3 →R 3 :p ⃗ ↦Ap ⃗ +
q ⃗ F:R3→R3:p→↦Ap→+q→
that will allow the elephant
to be put into the refrigerator.
Just make sure detA≠0 detA≠0
so you can take the elephant back out,
and detA>0 / detA>0
so you don’t end up with a pulpy mess. “*

Ahhh….

So THAT’s how you do it.

It’s now as clear as mud.

I’ll stick to buffalo ….

it’s much simpler.

No wonder

I like history better.

HOY!