Do Something

death As anybody who’s
ever read this here
Muscleheaded Blog
knows, I’m no
philosopher.

It’s not my
place/role/
mission/avocation
to break our existence
down into it’s several
component parts,

and explain daffy
each one
of them in a way
that they can be
clearly understood
and appreciated.

Nope.

And it’s not
given to me
to offer
sage advice
on important down
matters
of life and love.

Nope.

Hell,
I wouldn’t
take any
of my own advice….

so,tophat
I see no reason
why anybody
else should.

For all I know
this thing of
ours that
we call life
is nothing but
a colossal circle-jerk
or some kind of
supernal
misunderstanding.

What was that
question about the
meaning of life?

Ahhh —

well, I dunno,
you might try
the IRS toll freea2
information line.

(That’s assuming they’re
not on furlough again),
if you call
three times
and ask the
same question,
I bet you’ll get
at least three
different answers
from them, too.

That’s not much
of a ideology
upon which to base
constructive suggestions,
I would think.

Nope.

My job is simplyiam
to laugh at it all.

And I spend a good deal
of time and energy
trying to fulfill my role
in that respect.

I’m not saying
it’s a tough job
or anything —
there’s so much
that is genuinely funny,dwig
either on the baser, gut level,
or on a more existential one.

Life isn’t easy —
— and if you can’t laugh at it,

well–
how much harder
does that make it, then?

I say, laugh…
’cause you can bet
that our cosmic
audience is, already.

I mean, sure —
it’s nice to be
able to say
that I’m gonna
change this,
or I’m gonna do
that different —wakeup

And on a personal level,
that’s perfectly practical,
and commendable.

But outside of that,
we’re all just
being washed slowly
down the universal river
without a paddle —

— no chance to eddy out on this ride.

People, places, and things
are just part of the
scenery sliding past.

So, if you get a chance to laugh
at the occasional
squirrel trying to
fuck an oak tree,
my advice is to
have at it, man.rest

Laugh,
I mean —

— but if you really
want a crack at that
old oak tree, yourself,
well…

… just watch out for
those damned splinters.

HOY !!!!

munson

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Travel Week: Road Kill For Tourists

Ummm…..
well, it’s still
” travel week ”
around the old
blog-stead ……

And after
putting up
with the same
ole crapola
year after year,
you might think
that our dear
regular readersjosephcityarz
would say
” Enough Already ! “
and demand to
be taken
toward horizons
where no man
has gone before……

Not that I
would havebigg
any idea on
how to even
take y’all there.

Hey–
Root Beer !!!!

We must be on
the right road,
after all.

Thankfully,
when we get
requests
around here,
they’re usually inbronto
much more
familiar territory.

My friend Jen
wants more
wacked out
Roadside Attractions.

And that’s one
brontoburger
I really can deliver.

Sure, there’s places
you want to steer
well clear of ,
for one reason
or another……..

But there’s also
planty of places
I’ve been to
that fit the bill
very, very
nicely.cawkercityiowa

Honestly,
you just wouldn’t
believe the
‘out there’ stuff
that’s……
….. well ….,
out there.

Notwithstanding twine
the fact
that their
very weirdness
is really about
the only thing
that makes
them interesting.

Yep–
a big ball of twine.

Ahem.

I bet if you’ve
been wthingsdriving
on Interstate-10
between El Paso
and Tuscon,
you’ve seen these
irritatingly ubiquitous signs…..

Obnoxious
Overkill ?

I guess it would seem so
until you realize what
they’re advertising….. i10thing

It’s the THING.
AKA:
The
“Mystery of the Desert”.

Ooooooo…
you say…..

How intriguing,
right?

Ummm…
well, wonder
how do you feel
about having
smoke being,
not just blown,
but absolutely
gale-driven,
up your ass?

Pay your dollar
at this place
in Dragoon, Arizona,
and you’ll find out. wmummy

I’ll save you
the hundred
pennies–

It’s said to be a ‘gaff’ —
— a faked mummy —
supposedly of a
mother and child.

PT Barnum would be proud.

Will it turn your stomach? thething

Not any more than
the fried chicken
in the gift shop, I guess.

And I do like
me some cheap
wind-chimes, tho.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

windy

It’s A Mighty Cool World

You might
think that
I’m a bit of
a cynic,
but I don’t really
see it that way.

Laughing at
the way
things/people are
isn’t (for me, anyway)
cynicism —
it’s pragmatism.

Cynicism is a
closed-off way
of viewing the world
that doesn’t allow
for change –

Me,
I’m not
against change.

I don’t like it
a lot of times,
especially when
it comes down
to:

renaming/conglomerating
corporations for profit-purposes,

having people tell me
how to think/worship/
talk/write/work out/
live my life in the
name of social order,
or somebody else’s
personal preferences,

changing the meanings
of words around for
purely mercenary motives,

calling things
‘new and improved’
when all it means is
‘no better but
more expensive’ –

watching Orwellian
concepts like:
“All animals are equal,
but some animals are
more equal than others “

be put into practice as if
there was not a damned
thing wrong with ’em –

being worked
too hard
paid too little-
and then be expected
to just die and get
the hell out of the
way at the end
of it all –

and hearing people
talk about ‘God”
when they really
mean ‘Money’.

You know,
— stuff like that —

but I’m always
hoping for the best.

Change can
be a good thing.
( I keep telling myself. )

Reducing to the ridiculous
with humor and sarcasm
helps me keep perspective
when things get really weird.

And, I’m happy to say
that there are things
in this world that
can still boggle,
and toggle,
my imagination.

People can do it.

Art can do it.

Occasionally,
a discovery or
an invention
can do it.

And, of course,
music can do it.

It’s a real cool world,
a really cool world. 

.

 

What The Devil

I’ve been noticing
a variety of celebrities
getting some bad
press recently…

It seems to run
in cycles,
somehow.

Periodically,
since the media
has built up these
‘personalities’,
I guess it feels
it has the perfect
right to tear
’em right back down
again –

– at any time
it suits their
purposes to do so.

And of course,
that’s anytime
— any time —
that there’s
$$money$$
to be made
on the deal.

I dunno why,
exactly,

— but it
does kinda
bring to mind
the image of a
nefarious,
notorious
character
straight
out of legend,
lore and
mythology….

Talk about
bad press, man,
he’s been the
king of bad
press for centuries.

But apparently,
somebody still
likes him, cause
he’s making
all kinds
of comebacks
on TV shows,
books and commercials
( and politics ) .

And as tight assed
as the Edwardians
truly were, they seemed
to favor him on their
postcards as well.

A lot of time,
they wouldn’t
mention
his name,
or his place
of residence..

— and if they did,
it would be encoded
or in a hushed tone.

Superstition?

Bad juju ?

Well,
ok, partly.

But also,
because the
Postal Service
could be a
real stickler
about stuff
like that.

Yep, it was (is)
against postal
regulations to seem
be promoting the
image of the guy
using the mails.

Especially
a postcard –

– which can be seen
by anybody –
women, children,
and wild eyed
bible thumpers,
alike.

I’ve always
regarded
the guy,
and his
dwelling place,
as an allegory –

— one cooked up
for the purpose of
keeping people on
the straight
and narrow —

(sorta like
a mythical
buzz-kill)

– but there are still
plenty of folks
who absolutely
believe that he’s
alive and living
right down
the street,
doing tattoos
for a living,
running the local
headshop, or even
writing blogs.

Some guys even
dress for it, 
and play up
this image,
particularly my
fellow bikers,
mainly because it
scares the squares.

I get it —

I like to do
a bit of
square scaring
myself,
occasionally.

As far as
devil imagery
is concerned, though,
I’m not really a fan…..

But I’ve got
plenty of
postcards in my
mail bag
that are just burning
to ‘get the hell
out of there’…

— if you’ll
pardon the
rather mixed metaphor —

And, since there’s
no torment in Hades
that’s worser
(sure, why not ‘worser’)
than the one that a
writers-blocked blogger
feels when he’s scratchin’
around for a topic……

well,
here ya go.

And speaking
of ‘getting
the hell out of there’,
a big howdy to
our friends
down in Martin County, Florida.

Welcome back
to civilization,
– or what passes
for it, anyway.

!!! HOY !!!

.

The Friday Mail Bag

It’s true.

Very much
like a cheap motel
that you paid
12 bucks a night
for ’cause
you were desperate
for some sleep —
(or something else
entirely)

You nevera1
really know
what’s gonna
turn up
around here on
the Müscleheaded Blog.

Might even be fun,
you never can tell.

But,
clean sheets?

Ha —
think again, man.

Sheets are only
really clean if they’ve
been steamed after
washing —

And that only happens
in the high fallootin’
places, anyway.

Otherwise, you’re in
bed with everyone and
anyone who’s been in
there before you.

Hmmmm….

It seems like
I’ve heard
that allusion before,
somewhere…..

Ahh well,
sharing is caring,
right?

Over the years I’ve
been doing my blog,
I’ve collected some
very interesting images.

a2Some of which
I’ll never be able
to find a legitimate
use for.

Uh huh.

But one must remember,
when you’re hungry
and strapped
for creative provisions,
that the scraps
in the mental refrigerator
(or in this case,
— the detritusfancy
of a digital hard drive)
can make for quite
a palatable tasting menu
when handled correctly.

Ok —
so enough of the
flowery puffing —
onwards toward the
proverbial
‘comme ci, comme ça’ .

Like virginity,ban
perfection is
overated , anyway.

(… as if I would know
anything about virginity)

Ahem.

And
speaking of
tasting menus,
that’s pretty much
what we have for today.

A little of this,
a little of that.

A blogging
banana split,
if you will.

Not cohesive,
and certainly
not tasteful, dineomat
but it’ll probably
fill you up
all the same
if you can keep
it all down.

Just chock full of:
bad writing,
mixed metaphors,
oddball humor,
questionable images
bettyand inside jokes.

Oh,
and don’t forget
the sexy girls.

Yep-
pretty typical
for the
Müscleheaded Blog,
you’re right.

That’s just the
way we roll, man.

PS: Thanks to my friend
J for the motel signs.

.

fritzwillis

Great, Greater, Greatest

mehYou hear the word a lot.

“He was a great man”.

Great —

Hmmm….
Who are we talking about?

Thomas Aquinas,

or

Huey Long?

prideAnother example:

” That was a great verse” .

Ok —
like what ?

She walks in beauty,
like the night
“,

or

Dance this
mess around
” ?

.

This is a great meal.

The Last Supper,

or

Fries and a ‘Big Mac’?

.

aThe great unwashed masses.

OK…

So, what’s so great
about a bunch of
smelly people?

.

For the greater good.

The greater good
of the people at large

or

The greater good
of the corporations ?

cause.

Great Scott !!!!

General Winfield Scott got so out of shape and portly,
he couldn’t ride a horse–

He had to have a special carriage to take him to battlefield conferences.

.

A great entrepreneur ….

Great at taking care
of his family, employees
and the community,

or

Just great at making money ?

.

1USA —
The greatest country on Earth !

Notice just how easy
that slides off some
tongues without a
second thought.

I’m a veteran,
and I love my country,
and so, let’s be reasonable.

Most people who use
this expression haven’t
been out of Cleveland.

.

So…..
when is something
really great?

How can something
connotate polar opposites like:

power – The Great Wall,
and impotence – The Great Oz ?

success- Alexander the Great,
and failure – Pompey the Great ?

hope – The Great 5th Dalai Lama,
……. and despair – The Great Depression ?

.

 

I got to thinking about it,
the other day….

this concept of GREAT.

I mean, how would
I know what it is….1

I have never done
anything really great.

I’m not sure anyone
in my lifetime has.

Is great-ness something
you can aspire to,
or are you born to it?

Can you train for it,
or does it come
spontaneously?

Can you come
by it accidentally,
or does it have to
be by intentional act?

suckDo you know you’re doing something great while you’re doing it,

— or do you have to wait for history to judge?

Geeez… it’s complicated , this great-ness thing.

I mean, I hear the word all time, describing everything
from pot roast to test scores.

Do we degrade the
whole idea of ‘great
because we overuse the word?

Can breakfast cereal
ever really hope to
being gggrrrreat,
111
— just cause a cartoon tiger says it is?

Can we make something great -even greater- by adding an extra adjective.. as in :

” Hey Mom –
this is fucking great ham! ”

Can you say Mahatma Gandhi was “super great”,

— and the Beatles “just plain great”,
but not in a Gandhi sorta way?

Can you be great, just because
you’re better at something
than other people?

Mike Tyson,
was he a great boxer?

Is it possible to narrow the
focus of great down to
something trivial?

Ahhh… trivial.

Are those my own prejudices
about professional boxing
being a cruel inhumane
sport bleeding through?

greatideaOf course, I mean trivial

…as having no real positive impact on society, or mankind at large.

Does greatness depend on being a good person –

on having a positive impact ?

You could say I’m messing
with your head, here.

But I see this as a way
of defining how we feel
about ‘great‘…

If you say, yes-
it’s possible to be great
doing something terrible
or cruel –
— then, your definition
of great could apply to
anyone – doing anything –
— as long as they’re
good at it.

park

Right?

Jeffrey Dahmer- a great cannibal and mass murderer?
He wuz good at it,
after all….

On the other hand, if you say that it’s only possible to be great,
—if the party in question is doing something for the betterment of the species….,

……. then I think you have
to narrow your list of great
people, and great things,
considerably.

I dunno.

Quotations about “Greatness”

Here’s what some of the
“great” minds of history
have to say about it.

You can decide for yourself
which people– and ideas– qualify.

.

permisiion

.

” Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children “
— Kahlil Gibran

.

” A man does not show his greatness by being at one extremity, but rather by touching both at once.”
— Blaise Pascal

.

” Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others “
— Wm Boetcker

.

” They’re only truly great who are truly good. “
— George Chapman

.

” Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength. “
— Henry Ward Beecher

.

” I’ve often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness. “
— Woody Allen

.

“A really great man is known by three signs,–generosity in the design, humanity in the execution, and moderation in success. “
— Von Bismarck

.

” He who ascends to mountain-tops shall find
Their loftiest peaks most wrapt in clouds of snow;
He who surpasses or subdues mankind,
Must look down on the hate of those below.
Tho’ high above the sun of glory glow,
And far beneath the earth and ocean spread,
Round him are icy rocks, and loudly blow
Contending tempests on his naked head. “

— Lord Byron

.
so….. do you have a
favorite way of defining
“GREAT” ?

HOY!

.

1calvinandhobbes

 

.
.

.

.

 

Oh, Not One Of Those

ridjidIt’s Christmas
morning,
and it’s that
yearly
time of
reckoning —

–to see
if you figured
out how to gift your
special someone
with that special
something .

And somethin’
tells me
that some lady
of you
fucked it
completely up –
– again.

Please,
please –
– tell me you didn’t
fall into the holiday
ad trap.

Advertisers have a
knack for presenting
their products
at Christmastimesuck
that would lead a
man to the crackpot
conclusion that
buying her
something that
you ordinarily would
consider everyday
household equipment
is a great idea
for a holiday present.

And such bad ideassilverware
on what to
get her have been
featured in advertising
for decades ……

… and you ain’t learned
YET ?

Man, –
whatever else
you do –
don’t listen to the ads.

Woe to you,
my friend,stuff
if you have been
wooed by the siren
songs of :

“happier households
with a Hoover” —

“crock pots
make her hot” ,

“silverware for
your sweetie”,

or even a
“mixer for
your mistress”.

‘Cause that vacuum cleanerhoover
you gift her for Christmas
2018 will be the only thing
that’s going to get any
sucking action in 2019.

You will have violated
the unspoken rule :

— been
hornswoggled,
hoaxed,
and hoodwinked,

— you will have
tread upon
the devil himself’s
threshing floor,

— and dared
the angels
to reap righteous
vengeance
upon the
other male
members of
your previously
happy home.

Yes,
I pity the fool.

Remember,
for next year —
Rule Number 7
Section 4,
Subsection G
in the Man’s
Handbook :

“When in doubt,
buy her
booze,
jewelry,
or lingerie.”blacklabel

And gifting
her all three
will almost
guarantee a
very kicky
holiday
weekend,
indeed.

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

fredericks