Walt Whitman says:

walt-whitman” Sex contains all –
Bodies, Souls,
meanings, proofs,
purities, delicacies,
results, promulgations,
Songs, commands,
health, pride,
the maternal mystery, the seminal milk;
All hopes, benefactions, bestowals,
All the passions, loves, beauties, delights of the earth,
All the governments, judges, gods, follow’d persons of the earth,
These are contain’d in sex, as parts of itself, and justifications of itself. “

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Just The Facts Ma’am

Yes,
we here at the
Muscleheaded Blog
aren’t afraid to
handle
the tough,
hard-hitting,
controversial topics
of the day,
ya know.

Ok-

so,
we don’t do politics,
mainly because
most people have their
own asshole, and don’t
need somebody like me
talking out of his ass for
them.

And we don’t really do
religion, either —

– basically for the same
reason.

But, sex —

well, now….
that’s a whole different
6 pack o’ fun.

( maybe ‘a case’
would be more
accurately descriptive. )

Of course, it helps
that I’m quite
enamored with
the subject in general —

And to me, the only
bad kinda sex is
the sex that you
aren’t getting.

What you might call
recognized ‘facts’
about sex are pretty
generalized
and depend on:

what
who
where
when
and
how

And how.

See….

As stuff happens,
things develop,
time passes,
and one rises
to the occasion,
(as it were),
you might find that
your whole basic set
of definitions has
changed –

– like, say, after a
particularly kicky
weekend.

And then you have
to throw out what
you think you know
about it and start
again.

But, it never fails,
with a subject
like this, though —

That some-smarty-aleck
thinks-he-knows-it-all
(not all that dissimilar
from somebody like me)
still decides to write
a book, pamphlet,
or even a blog post
about the “Facts Of Sex”.

I’m not saying
I’m gonna do that —

It’s actually been done so
badly so many times over
the years that I’m scared
to make the whole thing
worse.

In truth, the only facts that
I really recognize about it
are simple :

# 1:

Always Wear A Rain Coat
(No DNA Left Behind)

# 2:

If You Want Her To Do It, 
Be Willing To Do It Too 
(69 Is Always A Lucky Number)

# 3:

Start Slow and Take Your Time
(An Ounce Of Fourplay Is Worth
A Pound Of Chafing)

And,

# 4:

Make Sure She Comes First
(Mutual Satisfaction or Bust).

As you can plainly see,
they’re more like
mandatory guidelines
than facts.

Oh, and let’s not
forget :

# 5:

Don’t Forget To
Wash The Goat.
(No Need To Feel
Sheepish)
.

.

Everything else
is pretty much
up in the air, man.

So, what I might do
instead is to show
you some more of the
vintage media that
had passed for sex
information and
let you form your
own opinion of whether
any of it was really helpful.

!! HOY !!