Cast A Kitten

It’s been a
couple weeks
since I last
posted
about the
nifty lingo of
the Flapper
age –

– and if you
missed that
one, you can
certainly
catch up
here.

Anyhoo…

I got some really
interesting questions
about 20’s slang
expressions, and
I thought I needed
to stop being a
lollygagger and
get a wiggle on
to answer em.

Lest you think
that these wonderful
stale chestnuts are
nothing but grade-A
phonus balonus ,
we used several
reference books
on the subject
to double check …..

They’re the
Real Mccoy

cause we wouldn’t want
to find you inadvertently
spouting piffle at a smarty
or a cute tomato during
the next hoppin’ rub .

You’ll be a regular
live-wire —

– the cat’s particulars.

One of the swells that
sent in questions asked
about the exclamation:
Tell It To Sweeney ” .

It was an expression
of disbelief sorta like
‘ Tell It To The Judge “,
although it’s derivation
is kinda hazy flavored
chewing gum

But it was being used
well before a fluky movie
of the same name
was released in 1927, so
that premise is all wet.

I was also asked about
” Bug Eyed Bunny ” —

well, I think that might
be a combination of
two different ideas —

a ” Bug Eyed Betty
which was a term for
a chunk of lead,
(an unattractive girl-
a cancelled stamp,
usually not a Flapper) …

while a bunny was
just a clueless deb.
( a dumb dora ) .

Considering the time
period was called the
“Roaring Twenties “,
it probably doesn’t
come as much of a
surprise that there were
numerous ways of
describing the state of
inebriation —

On A Toot 
Splifficated
Bent 
Ossified 
Fried
Blotto 
Half Seas Over
Varnished
Edged 
Plastered
Hoary-Eyed
Skeed 
Zozzled 
Half Cut 
Well Oiled
Pie Eyed
et al.

Ok,
so…
it’s not like
I’m giving you
the air or anything…

(so don’t
cast a kitten)

but I really gotta
blouse

I hope you
found enough
static to
mix the hooey
with
that kippy hopper
or sharpshooter
the next time
the opportunity
presents itself.

And with
the aid of
a couple more of
these Muscleheaded
Flapper Terminology
posts, you’ll really
get to
know your onions.

Then you’ll really be
on the trolley, man.

!!!! HOY !!!

.

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Only The Young Die Good

“Only The Young Die Good”.

That memorable quote
was written by a British-born
humorist and illustrator
Oliver Herford, who,
after moving to New
York in the 1890’s, started
doing cartoons and funny
verses for magazines like:

Harper’s Weekly, Life,
Punch, The Century
and Women’s Home
Companion.

He watched with interest as
the cultural tide of 1920’s
surged into the Flapper Age-
and made some very witty
observations about it, in
a 1931 publication called
“The Deb’s Dictionary” .

‘Deb’ being a reference
to the word debutante –
which, by the early
1930’s, was an expression
that often used in the
media as sarcastically
depicting the ‘flapper’
lifestyle.

Flappers, being rather
unflappable themselves,
took the epithet to heart,
and it became one of the
ways they referred to
each other.

The Deb’s Dictionary has
plenty of period pearls
to be perused —
combined with a
good Flapper Glossary,
one might really learn
to put down the patter
better than any
‘cake-eater ‘ —

– so well you’ll be
the bees knees,
rally you will.

So let’s blouse –
( get going )
and explore more
of the wonderful
world of flapper
age lingo.

If, for instance,
your friend’s
‘biscuit’
(hottie)
asked you to
‘butt her’
she didn’t mean
anything too
dramatic, really…

She just wanted
a cigarette.

If a Deb wanted
some action, she
could attend a
‘petting party’,
wherein she could
acquire a ‘snugglepup’
( or two ) to do
some serious
‘barney-muggin’.

And if you got your
flapper girl friend
mad at you, the simplest
solution was to present
her with ‘ an alibi ‘
(a bunch of flowers),
an ‘ urban set ‘
(a new party dress )
and maybe some sugar.
( moolah, lettuce )

Take her out to get
‘ oiled’ and to hear
a real whangdoodle.
(drunk / jazz band )

See..

It’s so simple
to ‘throw feathers’
when you can
‘dig the statts’.
(small talk / lingo )

But watch it
if she
calls you ‘sweetie’.

That’s bad news, man..

— it means she
don’t like you.

Well, just remember
to hold up your end.

Like Oliver Herford
used to say:

“Many are called,
but few get up.

!!! HOY !!!

 

Just Think About Baseball II

A coupla years ago,
I did a post about
the relationships
between double
entendres and the
terminology and
slang of baseball…

and especially
how these had
been covered
so well and
deftly by some
vintage postcards
from the turn
of
the last century.

Baseball
really does
have it’s own very
special jargon –

And I totally get
the unique
connection
between love and
baseball lore —

– it makes perfect
sense.

Even simple terms
like slider, curve,
screw, and squeeze
suggest something
a little bit more than
hangin’ around a
dusty field with a
bunch of ‘players’.

A ball game played
using a phallic
shaped bat,
a soft, supple
glove ……..

… running through
all the bases in
order to score.

Hmmm.

Or consider
the sage advice
they sometimes
give to
over-enthusiastic
bush-league
young men on
certain special
occasions –

not to get
‘ ahead in
the count ‘  –

– by ‘thinking
about
baseball’ .

Box scores,
and stuff.

If you’re a male
and you’ve never
had to use this
technique, well,
aren’t you just a
‘Chinese Home Run’?

Choke up or
choke out is
what I say.

Being able to go
extra innings
is always better
than a platinum
sombrero, man.

Ahem.

Anyway,
I thought I had
kinda exhausted
the field
(as it were)
with the illustrations
on that post —

but since then,
I find I had
thrown a feeble
55 footer
that was low
and
inside with it.

Still,
I’d been balking at
the idea of redo-ing
it, without a clear
way of pitching it,
until I found a whole
new line-up of cool
cards that I wasn’t
even aware had
existed.

I had scouted em
out at the recent
card-stamp expo,
made the big trade
to acquire ’em,
and then figured
that it would just
take a short
hop to make
that original post
part of a double
header .

So, if you want,
you can check
out the original
post first,

or,

you can read
this one,
now officially
dubbed
Part Two ,

(you’re about half
into it already )

and then
you can go
back to Part One.

After which,
I’d like you
to let me know
which ones are
your picks
for “all-stars”.

I’ve tried toImage result for baseball love vintage postcard
avoid duplicates,
but if you spot
one,
well,
let know
where I fouled
out on it.

Otherwise,
I hope you find
these cards
a grand slam !

Batter up !

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

The Ins And Outs Of English

bicepsIt’s a funny language,
English iz.

You can have a word
that means one thing,
… and the opposite thing
all at once.

Take BUCKLE for instance.

It can mean
to secure something —
You can buckle up
for safety.

Or it can mean to have
something fall apart
You can buckle
under the pressure.

I’m not saying that would
be a bit confusing for milk
someone just learning
the language, but….

….ummm yeah,

they’re likely to be
NON-PLUSSED.
( meaning
perturbed – or,
not perturbed
).

It is pretty raveled,
at that.

RAVELED
as in entangled–

not as in
dis-entangled.

Hmmmmm….

All this time I thought
my English teachers were
right about me being lazy
learning the ins and outs
of this language,

flammableBut now,
I’m thinking maybe
I was just another victim—

Screwed by it’s contronyms.

That’s SCREWED in
a bad way, of course,

……. and not in the
much better way,

but thanks for rooting for me.

Perhaps it’s not a puzzle
of quantum proportions,a
I guess.

And, that’s PUZZLE
as in a problem,

………….. and not as in the
act of solving one.

QUANTUM as in
significantly large,

as opposed to quantum
as in significantly small.

Wait.

I ENJOIN you, please….
(enjoin as in prohibit,
not to require)

not to SANCTION me
(sanction as in punish,
not as in support)

I’m not trying to make
an APOLOGY for the
eccentricities of
this language, after all,
…… or apologizing to
serve as an apology
of it, either.

But, you could build lierally
quite a moronic
oxymoronic
sentence if you
really wanted to.

I’m BOUND
(unable to escape) to say,

that I’m bound
(free to travel)
to continue finding
these little bastards
all over the language,

…… is AUGHT
(everything, nothing)
I’m saying.

And don’t even get me
started on the word
LITERALLY.

That one drives people
crazy every day —

if you don’t believe me,

…… just look it up and you,
too will be completely
CHUFFED.

Ok—
Yes, I admit this is
a rather DISCURSIVE post…

…… although I’m not sure
how a blog can be orderly,
and aimless at the same time.

Hey–
I know.

….. how about a PIN UP?

PS…. Like the way I so subtly
SPLICED those two things together ?
Joined, as opposed to cutti….

oh, never mind, dammit.

….. Just call it another
NEAR MISS, ok ?
(With suitable apologies to Gil Elvgren. )

!!! HOY !!!

.

anearmisselvgren

.

There’s a whole lot more of this crappy blog,
— if you’re bored and completely out of your mind….

Start here, maybe.

HOY !

Crackerjack Slang

Well,
I’ll have to admit,
we use a lot of slang
around here
at the
Muscleheaded Blog……..

I like to say
that a bit
of the blarney blarg
helps make my posts
almost completely
incomprehensible,
which is good ’cause
no one can take exception
to what I’m saying if they
don’t even understand
what the hell I’m even
talking about.

And if maybe a coherent
thought should slip
through every now
and then,
well…

what’s a salsa without
a little lime, chili and
cilantro?

(mushy tomatoes and
onions, mostly)

Errr.. my point ,
belabored as
it may be,
is:
{ if N=slang then
W+O+R+D+S (+N) }
makes up more than
the sum of it’s letters –

it’s a kinda code that really
doesn’t make any sense to
anyone except the people
who are in on the thing.

(and heaven only knows
who ‘they’ are)

Until it gets
out of the bag,
as it were,
and then,
it becomes part
of ‘popular parlance’.

Think about it.

At one time, only a small
group of people knew that
there was another meaning
to the word ‘beaver’ other
than just a cousin to the
honey badger.

But it spread.Related image

Umm…
I mean, the popularity of
the expression spread.

And now,
well…
you can jump
to your own conclusions.

Today, we’re attempting
to revive what were,
at one time,
very popular expressions…

(good luck
with that, right …. )

For instance,
you might remember
that the Victorians were
very touchy about
certain words,
and used substitutes
and insider slang to
replace the names
of stuff that they
didn’t like to talk about.

Testicles,
for instance.

Very touchy.

They called ’em
whirlygigs’.

Much better, huh?

But you had to
be quite a
‘whipster‘ to know
what they meant
when they said it.

And that’s what
this whole
whipt syllabus’
is all about.

Sorry to be such
a ‘whisk‘ about it…..

– but a guy’s gotta just
gaze at the melody‘,
ya know.

!!! HOY !!!

.

 

 

Safe As A Registered Letter

beatall“Safe as a registered letter “.

Hmmm….

I’m not sure, with the
miserable state of the
Postal Service these days,
that slogan would work
all that well today,
but that indeed was used for
one of the many brands of
“French Letters”, 3flappers
— otherwise known as condoms,
available in the 1930’s.

It gets pretty interesting when
you consider the history of the
noble rubber –

— it wasn’t that long ago
that one of the first things
a ‘ gentleman about town ‘
would do after an illicit liason
was to ‘do his laundry‘.

No-
shirts were not involved. dry

Basically, it meant a man
needed to wash out his
condoms after every use.

Then he would hang them to dry, so they would be ready for re-use.

Yep —

aabefore Latex became
a common material
with which to make condoms,
they were often made out of common rubber —

and reused.

Hence the slang name
most often used in the United States for them.

Before that,
… well …
all kinds of stuff were used.3knights

Because,
condoms actually have
a very old tradition —

going back past even
the ancient Chinese,
and Egyptian cultures.

It’s thought by some scholars
that there’s a cave paintingakron
of an animal bladder condom
being used on the wall of the
Grotte des Combarelles —
—- from 15,000 years ago.

The early Chinese versions
were made of coated silk,
and covered only the head
(glans) —

— they were expensive, blondtex
of course,
and had to be custom made.

No ‘one size fits all’ here.

And these types of condoms,

along with linen ones
and ones made of horn,
were being used in
1500’s Europe, too —

they were actually tied
on with a piece of ribbon.carmen

Animal bladders,
which allowed for the
entire organ to be covered
and were easier to keep on,
became more widely distributed
by Dutch traders to the world,

and they were very popular,
especially in
France, England, and Japan.

But all these optionsmore
were very expensive —

and so,
their use was limited only
to those who could afford them.

It wasn’t until
Galvanized Rubber
was invented in the late 1830’s,
did condoms become available
to the every day working man —

They weren’t all that comfortable,
or reliable, for that matter —

but, they were appreciatedhercules
by most folks as a hedge
against pregnancy and
Venereal Disease.

As the popularity of the
‘rubbers’ caught on,

there also grew a
‘stiff’ resistance to them —

In the 1880’s,
the United States restricted
them from being sold in the mail.vd

Some U.S. states
banned them outright —

as did the Republic of Ireland.

So did Italy under Mussolini,
Spain,
Portugal,
and Nazi Germany.

( It didn’t stop folks from
getting them, of course. )duke

Many churches were outraged
that such a product even existed,

and there are still sects
that do not permit their
adherents to use them.

The social antipathy
that condoms generated
also caused a new coded
slang to be developed —

A condom could be how
cryptically referred to as
a:

Jimmy Hat
Franger
Raincoat
Fez
Dinger
Love Gloveamo1
Cock Sock
Frenchie
Helmet
Scumbag
Slicker
Boot
Cumcatcher
Naughty Bag
Venus Shirta1
Galosh
Flunky
Safety Vest
Tool Bag
Willy Wrap
Dirty Laundry
Pecker Poncho
Gummy
Shower Cap
Baby Baggie

.. etc.drx
…. etc.
……. et cetera.

Latex was invented
in the 1920’s–

and almost overnight,tijuana

made the condom cheaper,
more comfortable,
and, of course, disposable.

Most male condoms today
fall into three categories :
Rubber,
Latex,
and ‘Skin’
(treated animal bladders, etc).

Of course,
you can always get a
“French Tickler”,

if you think you need
a little extra zing….

And a more
‘custom fit’
condom–

called “TheyFit”,

is available currently in
Western Europe
in a variety of sizes…

but the ‘One Size Fits All’
theme still dominates
the market.

There was actually a
‘Spray On’ condom
invented a couple
of years ago,depends

— but since the product
required minutes to
set up and cure,

it proved to be —

well,
let’s say ‘impractical’.

Boy,
shrinkage is a problem
in every industry,
I guess.

.

HOY!

.

oral