If you were anywhere near
the Muscleheaded Blog yesterday,
you saw that we used the
old motion picture device
of the ‘hanging end serial’ –
They used it to build suspense,
and insure return attendance
to their theatres..
We used it cause
we’re too lazy to write
that much at one time.
So, there you have it.
back to our exciting story —
How To Meet And Impress Girls (Part Deux).
“OK, now what?”
Meeting women is easy and fun;
…….but knowing how and
where to meet them
is very important.
You can meet
them in a store,
at the pool,
or at the shore —
you will do —-
Sam You AM will meet them too ….
(No- wait a minute..
…. that’s the wrong book….)
Anyway, as I was saying;
You can meet women
just about anywhere….
Think of all the women you can
meet hanging around the pharmacy
while commenting on their prescriptions–
You can stop them in their tracks with lines like:
“Yeah, I hear that stuff will really beat the yeast!”
“Hey, Look, Jelly Beans!”
meeting girls is all about
being comfortable in your own skin.
Have you tried jingling all that change you carry around in your pocket?
In your case, I might recommend the ‘shotgun approach’.
smile at every girl who even gets near you —
— and if one smiles back,
just start talking.
Chapter Three: “What Next ?”
What to do next?
For instance, you can offer to take her for a ride in your fancy sports car.
Chicks dig hot wheels, man.
Yes, your car can speak volumes
about who and what you really are,
……… and what you want outta life.
Women love for men to make comparisons between their bodies and the bodies of the women who make a living wearing clothes
that are way too small for 98.4 percent of the population.
Showing such careful consideration
for their feelings like that will
show your compassionate, sensitive side.
But I bet you already knew that.
You’ve gotta have your stuff together , though.
But it ain’t hard.
I see guys do this kinda
thing every day.
Just put your best biker-wanna-bee gear on,
shave your head,
roll up your sleeves to
show off those 14 inch biceps,
and those bad to the bone tats….
………… and then get your motor runnin’.
All kinds of women will be throwing
themselves adoringly in front
of your chopped chort.
( or moped , whatever )
This really gives you a chance to show people how versatile and aggressive you are.
Be sure to stare straight at any on-looking hotties while you’re munching.
But, a warning–
Public slurping on a turkey leg
at events such as Renaissance Fairs
is one of those things that only
advanced students of the
Muscleheaded Course should
ever attempt, however.
The resulting bountiful bevy
of boosted bazongas might
be too much for you, otherwise.
Yes, if there’s something that every hottie loves, it’s a cowboy.
Dust off your chaps, buy yourself one of them
17 gallon hats, and
You might have to
learn to walk differently…
…..with that wide, saddle worn stance
that says your package is almost
too heavy to carry around with ya without help.
or that your hemorrhoids are flaring up again.
I’m sure it worked for this guy.
You might even show her all the action figures you’ve been storing in that huge warehouse out in Huntington Beach.
I bet there’s plenty of chicks out there fantasizing about a quick fling with the Hulkster, right?
Oh, and don’t pay attention to that guy behind the curtain.
And no, that’s not a video camera.
Well, congratulations, candidate,
you have successfully completed
the Muscleheaded Course
for Meeting and Impressing Girls.
( errr… I mean, ANXIOUS)
…. as you might be to proceed
to actually dating somebody,
and become a fully qualified fox hunter —
( gggggrowwwwwll ) ……………
I’m afraid you’re going to have
to wait with bated breath
until the next course….
And heaven knows when that will be .
I’ll bid you and yours
(hands, feet, all that stuff)
a fond aaaacccchhhhoooooo.
Damn dusty in here.