It’s All In Your Stocking

I’m showing my age.

( What’s new, huh? )

I went to a pretty
formal event
last week
(not by my own
choosing, of course)
and I noticed a distinct
paucity of people
dressed up.

Now, when I
say ‘dressed up’,
I mean, face washed,
hair combed,
wearing business
or sunday-go-
to-meeting clothes.

Hey, I wasn’t
even wearing shorts —
I had to wear long
business pants,
and a long sheet shirt,
dammit-

so I wasn’t expecting
anybody else would/
should be wearing less.

And boy howdy,
well,
all I can say is,
a white fruit of the loom
t-shirt and ripped jeans
does not make a good
impression at a formal
funeral.

I also noticed hardly
any of the women
present were wearing
stockings.

What happened ?????????

I never saw so many
birch tree type legs
in my life.

Ahhh,
phooey.

Never mind that stockings
make ones legs look much
more appealing,
more glamorous,
more stylish,

(especially if she
doesn’t shave em)

they keep your legs warm
when the wind is blowing,

and that there enough
shades and styles
made these days
that they’ll match
just about any outfit
somebody would
want to wear……..

I just don’t
get it, man.

Nylon stockings were the
greatest invention since the
electric frappe maker, and
nobody’s wearing em ??

That just bums me out.

Regardless,
as somebody
who does still
enjoy em —

(one who just
looks at them
and doesn’t
actually wear
em, of course)

– I just kinda
figured a post
explaining where
they came from and
the different kinds
might actually
encourage ladies
to reconsider their use.

Like that’ll happen.

Eh.

Anyway —
what we usually
call ‘stockings’ ,
( which includes
stuff like panty hose)
weren’t any big
deal until the 1920’s, when
skirts started getting shorter.

Before that, they were more
like leggings or long-johns,
and were more for warmth
than anything else.

But the jazz age meant
that more leg was being
shown – and the sheer
stocking came of age–
they were made
of silk or rayon
until nylon was invented
in the late 1930’s.

During WWII, 
women still wanted
stockings, despite the
rarity of civilian nylon,
and went to interesting
extents to get the look.

Yes, leg paint –
or leg make-up.

Some women just drew
a line on the back of their
legs and called it a seam.

Today,
three stocking types
are in common
use:

stay-ups which have their
own elastic to hold them in
place , including thigh highs
and knee highs ….

garter belt stockings that
hang from a belt or are held
in place by a separate piece
of elastic or tight fitting fabric,
(those are the sexy ones… )

and panty hose
which are
much like
dancer’s tights .

Once you’ve chosen
your type,
you still have a
huge variety of
styles to choose from —

open weave fish-nets,
cuban high heel cut,
seamed or unseamed,
open-toed ,
nude-heel,
all kinds of fabrics
and densities,
designs and
transparencies.

It seems like the
perfect
fashion accessory,
doesn’t it?

And as a man,
I say again,
that I think they’re
very nice to look at, too.

!!! HOY !!!

.

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