My buddy Alec and I were discussing time travel in the gym today.
Now, you might think that perhaps that’s an odd subject for gym rats to be discussing,
— and ordinarily, I guess I’d have to agree with you.
But, he brought me in a couple of vintage postcards for my collection…
And as we looked at them,
I started pontificating from atop my ‘how-fuckin’-cool-would-it-be’ soapbox about…
well, you know….
…….. about ‘how-fuckin’-cool-would-it-be’ to have a time machine.
There’d be just so much to see —
I’d never tire of turning up somewhere in the past–
There’s 3 or 4 things on my must see-or-do list, ya know…..
Wearing my custom-made blue spandex time-traveler jumpsuit,
( No, of course I don’t have one yet,
I have to have one custom-made first,
and there’s no sense doing that until AFTER I get my time machine,
which will certainly cut down on the time I actually have to wait for it,
’cause I can just order it now,
…. and then time-jump to next week to pick it up.
See how that works, Einstein ?
Some guys… duhh. )
Checking out the scenery,
( Upsetting the natives is a possibility,
since it’s not everyday that some time-travelling Musclehead from either the past or the future turns up and tries to pick up all your hot chicks,
but I’ll bring my trusty Z-21 model 4 Granzinto Particle Putrifier Gun …
— which, come to think of it,
wasn’t invented until the year 2172…,
so I guess I’ll have to make THAT my first trip. )
… And —
just conversing with the natives —
ultra-modern stuff like:
” Hi, I’m from the future ”
” Can I park my time-machine here? “
” Maybe you shouldn’t DO THAT ” .
the potential’s unlimited, man.
I can hardly not wait.
I might even roll back to 1967 Haight-Ashbury,
— and catch a glimpse of a very sexy Grace Slick in her underwear.
Uh… maybe not.
It’s just as well.
She STILL won’t return my phone calls.
What a bummer, man.
All I was sayin’ was you could observe things as they really were —
Instead of the way we’ve only heard or read about how they were.
Cause I don’t believe anything I hear, and only about 10% of what I read,
so I’m pretty dern carnfused about it all.
A time machine would solve the problem, yep.
The physics of the whole Fermi Paradox/Novikov Self-Consistency Principle/Closed Timeline Limitation thing can be solved by some other guy on some other day….
Hey, maybe I’ll use my time machine to go find the guy.
Or is that putting the cart before the horse?
And, one of the main advantages for going into the future,
is that you can bring back all kinds of ginchey technology that hasn’t been thought of, yet.
Can you just imagine?
The mind boggles.
….. you’d have to be careful not to time-surf so far into the future,
as to end up at a time where the only things left, were:
CD’s of Bulgarian Pop Ballads,
and old reruns of the Merv Griffin Show.
If that wasn’t bad enough,
…. you might find yourself evaporated by something you inadvertently did while travelling somewhere in the past.
why’s all the cool technology gotta be so damned complicated, anyway?
The point I was belaboring was,
I’ve got some cool vintage post-cards for y’all today,
— that might give us a bit of an interesting insight on times, places, and peeples long gone.
It’s funny how postcards like these can do that.
Best of all , they’re fun, colorful and inexpensive.
With no complicated theoreticals involved.
So, step in to my time machine,
and let’s see where we end up.
the flight attendants are hot, anyway.)
Fair warning, though:
The sequence of images on this post will make even less sense than usual..
But, I really don’t think you’ll have any trouble picking out the vintage ones.
For instance, the one on the top of the post that says ‘1904’ really was printed in 1904.
This one, with the caption ” Come On In, The Water’s Fine ” is from 1914.
The 4th of July Firecracker postcard is from 1905,
…. and the Florida Welcome Station from 1962.
Really cool, huh?
I still want a REAL damn time machine, though.
( the bottom image was created by Earle Bergey in 1940 for a pulp sci-fi magazine)