A Campin’ We Will Go

In search of fresh places
in which one can spread
his wings and fly away
from his ordinary daily
scenes into new vistas
of fun and recreation,
people will do just about
anything –

– even buy a travel trailer.

It’s true.

On first glance, travelling
by trailer might seem like
a good way to get outta
town and to See America
first.

That’s cause you’ve never
owned one —

or you have the pain
tolerance of a zombie
out of an Ed Wood movie.

Because unlike someone
who travels in relative
comfort, eats in restaurants,
and sleeps in a nice hotelImage result for vintage camper postcard
when they’re on the road –
the poor travel trailer guy
has a lot more to do –
before, during, and after.

Relax, huh?

No way.

And if you’re sick of
home cooking now,
imagine what it’ll taste
like from a mini-microwave
and two bunsen burners.

Oh sure, there are multi-
million dollar
‘travel trailers’
that are basically Hiltons
on wheels –

— but in order to
own one of those you have
to qualify as ‘ one of them ‘ –
– and even then, you have
to hitch your Land Rover
to the back if you really
wanna get around.

Putzez.

But we’re not talking
about ‘ them ‘-
no, what I mean is the
average Joe camper-
the one that requires
generators,
propane fills,
septic dumps,
and running water
through a garden hose.

There’s so much more
trip planning required –

– whether a road will
accommodate your rig –

– whether there’s a camp
site near where you
wanna be –

– elevations, road grades,
gas and tire pressures —

– down to what food, water,
pots and pans you’re going
to take –

– weight distribution,
hitching and wiring –

– lifting, toting, clearing-
a lot of backbreaking
physical labor….

– and the potentials for
disaster are substantially
increased as well.

Did ya ever try to steer a
truck/camper combo into
a 30 mile per crosswind ?

It’s like trying to drive
one of those cars on the
Tilt-O-Wheel at the carnival.

Let’s assume you didn’t
have three flat tires,
an overheated engine,
a generator that took 27
pulls minimum to start,
and costly damage from a
misjudged bridge clearance
on a particular trip –

– you still had to deal with
a ‘wilderness’ campsite
next to a smelly
communal latrene –

– a campground pool that
only was in season from
July 15 to July 30th,

– muddy looking ‘potable’
water that wasn’t even
clean enough to poop in —

and woods full of trained
killer attack bees that were
pissed off at you,
and only you,
for no specific reason.

Nuts, man.

When I told my buddy
that I was gonna write
about this subject, he
was kind enough to remind
me that they no longer call
these things ‘campers’ ,
but ” RV’s ” –
which stands for
‘ recreational vehicles ‘ –

– sorry, but all things
considered, I see absolutely
nothing recreational about em.

!!! HOY !!!

 

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