Travel Week: Road Kill For Tourists

Ummm…..
well, it’s still
” travel week ”
around the old
blog-stead ……

And after
putting up
with the same
ole crapola
year after year,
you might think
that our dear
regular readersjosephcityarz
would say
” Enough Already ! “
and demand to
be taken
toward horizons
where no man
has gone before……

Not that I
would havebigg
any idea on
how to even
take y’all there.

Hey–
Root Beer !!!!

We must be on
the right road,
after all.

Thankfully,
when we get
requests
around here,
they’re usually inbronto
much more
familiar territory.

My friend Jen
wants more
wacked out
Roadside Attractions.

And that’s one
brontoburger
I really can deliver.

Sure, there’s places
you want to steer
well clear of ,
for one reason
or another……..

But there’s also
planty of places
I’ve been to
that fit the bill
very, very
nicely.cawkercityiowa

Honestly,
you just wouldn’t
believe the
‘out there’ stuff
that’s……
….. well ….,
out there.

Notwithstanding twine
the fact
that their
very weirdness
is really about
the only thing
that makes
them interesting.

Yep–
a big ball of twine.

Ahem.

I bet if you’ve
been wthingsdriving
on Interstate-10
between El Paso
and Tuscon,
you’ve seen these
irritatingly ubiquitous signs…..

Obnoxious
Overkill ?

I guess it would seem so
until you realize what
they’re advertising….. i10thing

It’s the THING.
AKA:
The
“Mystery of the Desert”.

Ooooooo…
you say…..

How intriguing,
right?

Ummm…
well, wonder
how do you feel
about having
smoke being,
not just blown,
but absolutely
gale-driven,
up your ass?

Pay your dollar
at this place
in Dragoon, Arizona,
and you’ll find out. wmummy

I’ll save you
the hundred
pennies–

It’s said to be a ‘gaff’ —
— a faked mummy —
supposedly of a
mother and child.

PT Barnum would be proud.

Will it turn your stomach? thething

Not any more than
the fried chicken
in the gift shop, I guess.

And I do like
me some cheap
wind-chimes, tho.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

windy

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Travel Week: What I Did On My Summer Vacation

It’s “TRAVEL WEEK”
here on the world’s
least famous blog !

Why?

How in the hell
should I know-
it just is.

Get with the
program, man.

Ahem.

It’s hard to explain,
but when you’re a
Southerner visiting
certain places Up Nawth,
you sometimes get the
feeling that your
North Carolina plate
or accent is getting
you nothing but dirty
looks and a hard time.

We pride ourselves
down here
at giving
visitors a heapin’
helpin of hospitality —

But it ain’t
always
that way for us .

Awwww…

I’m probably just
imagining things.

I mean, that guy
in the gas station
near Thuro,
Massachusetts
didn’t just ask
me in a mock
Southern accent
whether I had
lost my mule,
did he?

Alas,
yes, he did.

Funny?

The only thing
funny about it
was him thinking
I wouldn’t crush
his skull for him –
which turned out
to be right- but
he had no way of
knowing I don’t get
mad in front of the
family.

And we had 12 days
just like that there.

Oh, lovely.

I think that’s where
Sister Mary Elephant
was from, too.

I did enjoy the
glass museum in
Sandwich……
actually a nice
little town.

Anyhoo —
many folks like
spending time on
Cape Cod , so for
them , I say
Have At It ” –
the beaches aren’t
that great, the folks
aren’t that friendly,
and you can’t find a
decent meal on the
whole damn peninsula.

And so to
paraphrase
something
I always say at
the Sunday
dinner table when
someone declines
seconds —
“MFM –
more for me
well….
“More For Them”.

!!! HOY !!!