Photo Boothing

My buddy Jen sent
me a funny picture
of a couple of dogs
mugging in one of
those coin-operated
automated photo
booths, and it got
me to thinking-

(always a
dangerous thing)

— just how many
hilarious examples
of this kinda thing
must be
out there
somewhere.

I guess it
must be true,
cause you can
do some really
goofy stuff in
front of a camera
in 5 second intervals.

Hell, I’ve been
known to participate
in some pretty silly
photo booth high jinks
myself when they were
still popular in arcades
and such.

Of course,
that required
pain-staking research,
searching every nook
and cranny of the
interwebs and stuff,
but
hey,
anything for
our readers, right ?

Well, here’s
the thing.

Most of the vintage
photo sets from
4 for a quarter
photo booths
that I found were
kinda lame…..

(with a few
exceptions)

People skewing up
their faces, bugging
their eye balls, and
making obscene
gestures is pretty
much par for the
course.

Not that
I have any
issue with any
of that-

– it just so
happens
that I hold
an advanced
degree in
obscene
gestures…..

….. but it’s just
not something
that would make
for all that thrilling
of a post,
if you get
my drift.

You seen
one middle
finger, you
seen em all.

But never fear —

( notwithstanding
how really slow
I was in
realizing it ) –

we did finally
figure out
that those
old fashioned
backdrop shots
that they used
to sell at the
beach,
arcades,
zoos, and
in amusement parks
could get pretty risque
or downright bizarre…

— especially those
from around
World War II.

Folks would simply
stick their head
or other appendages
into cut-outs on the
backdrop-

Then:
the camera
would click,
the light
would flash,
and – presto –
instant humiliation
stored on photo
emulsion paper.

Who wouldn’t
want ten
pounds
of that,
I ask you ?

Of course,
folks had a
much better
sense of humor
back then…….

And they hadn’t
learned yet the
truth of the now
defunct rule 74 –

– that if you
look like
you’re naked
or are doing
something
naughty in
a picture,
even if it
ain’t really
you, for all
practical purposes,
you are,
and for all time.

Don’t I know it.

(Rule 74 was
officially replaced
in the early
2000’s by :
Rule 74-R
which states that
unless you’re doing
so completely out
there while you’re
naked , (or a politico
or celebrity), that
makes it stand out
from the trillions
of other naked
pics floating
around
on the internet
somewhere,
there’s a very
strong chance
that nobody will
want/notice/care/
even see it. )

Ahem.

I honestly
don’t know
which version
of that rule that
I like least, but
anyhoo……

For those
of you who
tuned in to
see the funny
photo strips….

well,
if you’ve
got any:

just send em along
in care of this here
blog, we’ll still do
it on another post.

I just didn’t
have near
enough good
ones to make
a whole post
interesting.

And I do like
these vintage
‘cut-out’ shots 
a whole lot better
that the photo strips
I ended up not using.

It comes down
to simply this :

sometimes
a detour
will get ya
ya where you’re
going somewhere
faster than the
main road.

Not often,
I grant ya.

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

?????? WANT MORE ??????

Alrighty …………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Saturday Car Post

I’ve driven a lot
of cars in my life-
I love em, and I’ll take
anything out for a spin
that I have the chance
to, not to mention always
insisting on renting
a model I’ve never
driven before when
it’s possible.

I frankly don’t think
much of the newer
reproductions of older
classics, like the Challenger
and the Mustang –
not because they don’t
have plenty of power –
they do – but because
they lack originality in
their form, while their
function is limited by the
constraints of the vintage
look they’re emulating.

Ok, so maybe I’m
just a crank.

But spending $70,000 for
a car that looks like it was
built 50 years ago just
doesn’t appeal to me.

Give me original or
give me new –
don’t confuse me with
something that’s neither
and both.

I’ve been asked to write
about the qualities that
made the cars I loved
my favorites…..

1: Power, sure, One;
and by that I mean
power to the street –
it does me no good
if the tires burn out
at every traffic light,
so,

2: Two is the correct
Gear Ratio.

3: Steering, is next-
you can’t really enjoy
a car with a huge
turning radius.
You wanna make that
U-turn without hitting
the curb or needing 5
lanes to do it.

4: And Suspension is
Four – I don’t want to
bounce around like a
buckle bunny in the
back of a pickup.

Only after one other
thing,
5: Weight
do Looks start to mean
something . By weight,
I mean, how hefty a
vehicle is when the
wind is blowing –
does it bounce off the
car like a nerf ball or
does it make me feel
like I’m driving a kite?

6: Looks.
Of course, it matters.
But, like so many other
things in life, without
the basics, looks are
nothing but junior
class bimbette bait.
Life’s too short, and
any woman worth
her salt knows a lemon
from a good hunk of
go when she sees it.

!!! HOY !!!

Index (from top):
1967 Pontiac LeMans
2003 Ford Thunderbird
1963 Chevrolet Impala SS
1961 Lincoln Continental
1965 Ford Thunderbird
1974 Plymouth Fury
1971 Triumph TR-6

Knowing Not

Taking writing
classes can become
something of a habit,
if you let them.

At least,
I find it to be so.

Not that I apply
much of anything
I learn to my posts
here on the
Muscleheaded Blog –

– it seems
like I can
only write
this thing
from that special
twisted-kilt
perspective
with the off-pitch
punctuation
with which
it’s been
produced for
oh so, zso
many years –

– if I try
and work
at being all
phonologically
persnickety
or
technique-driven,
all I get is mulch.

And not
the good
kinda mulch
that helps
gardens grow,
either –

– more the
kinda mulch
that they dig out
with tractors
and throw it
on the rubbish to
keep it all from
blowing away.

But there’s
one piece
of advice
I’ve heard
repeatedly
over the
years, and
I’ve worked
assiduously
at applying –
” Write What You Know “.

Which maybe
explains, to
some extent,
anyway, why
the Muscleheaded
Blog is written
on what could
be a 3rd grade
level –
– cause I don’t know
anything much.

Don’t get me
wrong here…
I’ve studied a lot –
but it’s like some
really smart guy
once said to me –
( It might have been
Joseph Campbell ) ;
” Learning just teaches
me how little that
I really 
know. “

And if
Mr. Campbell
didn’t think
knew much,
what chance
have I got ,
I ask you?

Anyhoo….

I’m violating
another one
of the principles
of good
writing
this morning….

Because I’m
typing stuff
that’s completely
off topic from
where I thought
I was going
with today’s
post.

Yet again.

But since I already
have written most
of it, I guess I’ll just
cut to the punchline
of what should have
been the point :

Never ask a question
for which you don’t
really want to know
the answer to.

Oh,
and,
never end
your sentences
with a
preposition.

.

!!! HOY !!!

Oh, Not One Of Those

ridjidIt’s Christmas
morning,
and it’s that
yearly
time of
reckoning —

–to see
if you figured
out how to gift your
special someone
with that special
something .

And somethin’
tells me
that some lady
of you
fucked it
completely up –
– again.

Please,
please –
– tell me you didn’t
fall into the holiday
ad trap.

Advertisers have a
knack for presenting
their products
at Christmastimesuck
that would lead a
man to the crackpot
conclusion that
buying her
something that
you ordinarily would
consider everyday
household equipment
is a great idea
for a holiday present.

And such bad ideassilverware
on what to
get her have been
featured in advertising
for decades ……

… and you ain’t learned
YET ?

Man, –
whatever else
you do –
don’t listen to the ads.

Woe to you,
my friend,stuff
if you have been
wooed by the siren
songs of :

“happier households
with a Hoover” —

“crock pots
make her hot” ,

“silverware for
your sweetie”,

or even a
“mixer for
your mistress”.

‘Cause that vacuum cleanerhoover
you gift her for Christmas
2018 will be the only thing
that’s going to get any
sucking action in 2019.

You will have violated
the unspoken rule :

— been
hornswoggled,
hoaxed,
and hoodwinked,

— you will have
tread upon
the devil himself’s
threshing floor,

— and dared
the angels
to reap righteous
vengeance
upon the
other male
members of
your previously
happy home.

Yes,
I pity the fool.

Remember,
for next year —
Rule Number 7
Section 4,
Subsection G
in the Man’s
Handbook :

“When in doubt,
buy her
booze,
jewelry,
or lingerie.”blacklabel

And gifting
her all three
will almost
guarantee a
very kicky
holiday
weekend,
indeed.

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

fredericks

 

Say BE GONE to THE GOO

Yes, guys,
i’m in a high
warble and
more than a
bit beaded up
’cause bag season
has arrived again
here in the
beautiful South.

Dammit-
I’ve been saying
NO to SNOW” .

It just doesn’t
seem to be
working —

– I musta
gooned up –

since the weather
has definitely
been behind
the power curve,
most definitely.

Ahem.

Don’t let the
no-load lingo –

– the gigahertz
and the
nanoseconds –

bug-out your
brain housing,

or

peg out your
fun meter, man….

It’s just some
of my flat-hat
bitchin’ about
the goo using
aviation slang.

Aviation has always
been an interest of
mine, and I also
get the warm
fuzzies in my
heart for vintage
post cards that
deal with flying –

– maybe it’s just
the bird-brain in
me, I dunno.

Since the
Wright Brothers
tested their first
primitive aircraft
on the flat, hard sand
beach of Kitty Hawk,
North Carolina, a lot
of other folks have
liked them, too.

And a tricky part about
the Muscleheaded Blog
is to bring you aviation
cards that we haven’t
featured before –
– that’s much harder
than it sounds, simply
because we lose track,
we’ve posted so many
over the years.

But, I think we have
a good chance of
giving it a decent
go-round today,
and getting a hearty
‘Attta-Boy’ on it,
since I’ve been
holding these back
until I had enough
for a dedicated post
on the subject.

Hey,
we’ll see,
man.

Don’t be a
slam-clicker –
if you feel up
to giving me
a cross-check,
well….

never mind
going up on
the governor-

if you see
anything
tango-uniform
just give
me a mayday
in the speed
of heat when
you get to
feelin’ any
chop.

Roger
and
Wilco.

.

!!! HOY !!!

.