Rink Me Baby

rinkIt was absolutely
beautiful around
here this week.

Too damn
beautiful to cook.

Too damn
beautiful
to do any work.

Hell,a2
….. it’s too damn
beautiful
to take a shower.

Oh sure,
I know,
— excuses,
excuses.

( I know what
you’re thinking —
but it’s never
too beautiful
to ride my
motorcycle, so-)

Since my brain seems
so obviously off-line,

…… we’re diggingImage result for vintage roller skating humor
deep into the back
of the ole reminiscences
part of the subconscious
to to pull out something
that’s going to have
to serve as subject
for today’s post.

Let’s see what
we got in here.

Hmmmm…

Oh, ok, maybe
not that one, because
we’re trying to avoid
an “X” rating.

Alrighty,
well —

I’ve always found skating1
roller skating
an enjoyable,
relaxing sport

— good exercise
with plenty
of interesting
potentials
for adventure–

And so did folks
in the early 1900’s,
apparently.skate

Ok–

Maybe the old style
hokey organ music
isn’t all that listenable ….

But one cannot help
but make new friends
and acquaintances
while skating,

and the unpredictable
opportunities
for illicit/semi-innocentskating
bodily contact abound.

When all else failed,
you always had
something to watch,
anyway.

Those old rinks with
the wooden boards,
in particular, had spots
in them that would trip up
even the most experienced
of skaters —

In 1970’s Ocala, Florida
there was a great
old vintage rink
that I would frequently visit
for just that reason —

Mostly,
doing the old S.W.W.–
Sitting,
Watching,
and Waiting.hattrick

One only had to
pick your spot
and wait for the fun.

But when/if someone did
hit the floor,
— literally,

the wood floor was much
more forgiving than the
concrete floors of today.

So, it wasn’t actually much
like sadism at all, really,
as much as it sounds like it.

Yes, we did have the advantage
of shorter skirts on the girls,

And I certainly did/do
appreciate that —

But there was
also just
something
very special
about a wooden
skating floor,

…. no doubt
about it.

I don’t ever
remember
calling it ‘rinking’ ,
however.awed

And,
just how does a
roller-wedding
work, exactly?

That seems
to have also
been a trend
back then.

With This Rink
I Do Wed ?

I guess Alice Cooper knew
something about it, after all.

.

HOY !!!

.

aglorianord

Advertisements

Car Coolers

All the current global
warming stuff may lead
you to believe that
previous generations
didn’t get hot, but the
truth is very different.

And, how folks in
automobiles before
air conditioning found
comfort from summer
swelter is our topic today
on the Saturday Car Post.

Before the 1939 model
Packards, Air Conditioners
weren’t available in
domestic cars even as an
(very expensive) option ….
and they remained rare
amenities in cars up to
the 1960’s.

Of course, auto makers were
always looking for ways to
help their buyers beat in-car
heat, by designing large
windows and vents into
them , and even making
rear and front windscreens
openable on some models
to provide cross-draft.

A lot of pre-1960 car
owners chose to cool
their cars with an after
-market product called
a “Swamp Cooler” –
an evaporative air cooler
which would fit over one
of the passenger side
windows.

The principle was a
simple one: air forced
into the front intake
of the unit would flow
over a reservoir of water,
vaporizing some water
molecules and carrying
them into the cabin of
the car as ‘cooled’ air.

Aside from the fact that
the air was simply moist
and not really cooled,
there was also the issue
of outside humidity….
despite being called
‘swamp coolers’, they
actually worked much
better in dry climates
because the vaporized
air would present
more of a contrast to the
passenger and feel ‘cooler’.

Also, in some models,
the car had to be moving
in order to stream the air
through the unit.. although
later motorized-fan units
(called “Ram Air”) resolved
this issue.

The coolers were marketed under
several large brand names, like Sears
(Allstate), Firestone, and Thermador,
but were also made by smaller
companies and for custom uses.
( one was only
made for VW Beetles ).

!! HOY !!

.

 

 

The Friday Mailbag

The Friday
Mailbag.

A Friday
tradition since ….

Oh, ok,
I dunno if it
qualifies as
a ‘tradition’,
exactly.

Maybe a ‘habit’
would be more
appropriate, huh?

A
bad one?

Naah…

… it’s gotta be
better than
chewing tobacco
or scratching
your ass
incessantly.

Not as
rewarding,
I’ll grant you,
but….

Ahem.

Anyhoo…

we’re gonna
dip down
deep into the
proverbial
mailbag,
feel around
and see what
we come
up with.

Let’s see…..

Dark
coarse hairs?

Those sure
ain’t mine.

Now, I wonder
if it’s a demented
kinda thing that
our regular readers
would know exactly
how I know that.

Is that
what they
call T.M.I. ?

Hey, we’re totally
into sharing
around here,
ya know.

‘Sharing is caring’
and all
that rot.

No….

you can’t use
my motorcycle —

A guys’
gotta draw
the line
somewhere.

Sorry–
it seems like
we are just
dilly dallying
around ,
but the truth is
that we’re just
gonna go balls
-out- random
today.

Forget all that
stuff I’ve said
previously about
always having
some kinda
hidden topic …

This one is so
completely and
utterly random
that they’ll have
to redefine the
whole fucking
concept…..

You’ll think you’re
reading my answers
to my 11th grade
algebra tests, that’s
how seriously desultory
and scattershot we’re
going for today.

(Thanks to my old
football coach
and algebra teacher,
Mr. Murphy, for
passing me, anyway,
cause otherwise, they’d
been short a full-back,
and we mighta lost the
Division IV semi-finals
against St. Thomas
Aquinas. )

Oh yeah….

  • nobody knows
    random like yer
    old buddy
    Muscleheaded.

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

Money In The Bank

I’ll tell you
a badly kept
secret if you
promise not to tell
anybody who don’t
already know –

(a limited range of
folks, I’ll grant you)

I’m lousy about
saving money….

Sure, I had
regular ole
piggy banks
when I was
a kid —

— but it always
seemed to me
that a candy
bar in the
hand (mouth)
was worth five
in the bank.

I guess
I must be
one of those
instant gratification
kinda guys …..

( surprise,
surprise,
surprise )

Fun now
and hopefully
fun later,
too.

It’s not like
my idea of fun
and pleasure is
based on
expensive
tastes.

So, while all my
friends would be
saving their quarters
in little slotted boards
which somehow
gave them a sense
of accomplishment
when they got all 50
states covered….

Boring.

— to me,
it was just $12.50
worth of
soda and salted
pumpkin seeds
screaming my name.

As if
I could possibly
have waited
that long
to spend
those precious
silver coins.

Usually, I made do
with nickles, anyway.

( I guess you coulda
taped a nickle in the
slot, but again,
why bother? )

The concept of a
bank account was
equally as alien to me….

– compounding enough
interest on a dime
seemed to take way
too long for me to
have ever become
rich that way….

while two 16 ounce
Pepsi’s would make
me inestimably
more happy right
then and there.

Of course, it meant
I was always scrounging
around for money ….

Carelessly littered
deposit bottles might
have seemed like the
secret to future
wealth and happiness.

(if I had thought that
way, but as soon as I
cashed ’em in, they
were nothing more
than liquidized assets.)

And then came the
great ‘no-deposit’
bottle crisis of 1965.

Talk about broke.

Suddenly, my empire
of glass was shattered
and litter went back
to being just trash.

Still, my grandparents
finally figured out how
to get me to put my
spare change away —

— they got me a
vintage cast iron
mechanical bank.

You’d load a penny
in a little slot, a door
would open, and a
spring-wound hand
would reach out of
the bowels of the
thing and scarf
the penny.

Hell, as far as I
was concerned,
I wasn’t really
saving , I was just
enjoying the show.

Soon, I had several
of these things,
one of which was
a very cool space
ship bank, that
would spring
forward when you
inserted a coin and
almost at the speed
of light, would
deposit said coin
into the bank.

Another would shoot
a deposited coin into
a barrel.

Before the days of
video games, these
things could provide
hours and hours of
fascinatin’ fun.

Of course, there was
a lot of bumming
pennies involved.

But in desperate
times, you could
always pull the cork
plug outta the bank
and restart the
whole process all
over again.

I wore out an awful
lot of springs that
way, I can tell ya.

ANyway,
as you
might imagine,
from that
ridiculously
long and
drawn out
story, today’s
post is all about
mechanical
banks.

.

Enjoy !

.

William Henry Ellam Ephemera

One of the things
that always surprises
me about postcard
collecting is the
paucity of information
available about the
creative illustrators
themselves ….

— sometimes,
especially in the
case of early
1900’s artists,
there is little
credible background
information about
them –

– even the most
industrious ones.

A good example of
this is the case of
English artist
( and sculptor )
William Henry Ellam.

His work was published
by several large London
producers of postcards –

– like Raphael Tuck and
Sons –

— but yet, very
little of his pedigree
information can be
found.

( I was ,
weirdly enough,
able to find a
picture that I
could verify as
him… which,
I guess just
proves how
well known
he was in
his time )

What I can tell
you was that
he was a very
popular creator of
political, sardonic,
anthropomorphic
and comic cards
from around 1900
through until 1925,
after which he
seems to have
retired;

– he was born
in 1858 at
Enfield, Middlesex,
England, worked in
London, first as a
stockbroker, and
then as an artist,
and died in 1935.

The first trace
that I can
find of him in
postcards
is from
1905, a card
which sarcastically
mocked the
participants of
the Russo-Japanese
War-

— those were
published by
Siegmund
Hildesheiner
and Company ;

– after which there
are cards from the
A.G. Company,
C.W. Paulknert,
Wilde & Cray,
and an array of
others.

There were a
large variety
of his designs
on cards dealing
with the geo-
political events
of the times,
and especially
World War I and
the class conflict
during and after.

It was during
this era
that his
most well
remembered
series, based
on :
Mrs. Caudle’s
Curtain Lectures

were released;
although others
of his anthropo-
morphic characters ,
like: ‘Little Teddies’
and
‘Cats’ sets also sold
very well —

and his ” Seashore ”
subjects were a
regular feature at
postcard stands in
much of Western
Europe, and were
available in several
languages.

Ellam definitely
seems to have
had a taste
for bad puns
( ‘ the Nuts ‘ ),

– and also for
the macabre,
and several of his
odder cards were
designed to appeal
for holidays, such as
Valentines, and as
Halloween items.

Another set of his
creations appeared
with cigarette packs;

dating from around
1910 and produced
for the Cope’s
Kenilworth brand –

Notable, despite
the fact they were
technically not
postcards at all,
but a variety of
card-size cut-out
paper ‘toy models’
– like a stage for
Punch and Judy.

His work is
usually signed
” ELLam “, although
this is not always the
case.

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

Coastin From Coast To Coast

You know,
it’s that time
of year, again.

Warm breezes,
scents of sea,
and sunny
days –

evoke certain
feelings and
urges inside
a young man.

Yep.

Time to ride
the coaster.

Roller Coaster,
that is.

I guess it’s fair
to say that not
everybody likes
coasters like I do,
which is fine,
because anything
that keeps the line
down so I can go
again is fine.

I’m not saying
I understand it,
though.

Cause —

No matter
what you call it :

The Flash,
Scenic Railway,
Safety Coaster,
Wild Mouse,
American Eagle,
Loop The Loop,
Accelerator,
The Mean Streak,
Figure 8,
Intimidator,
The Tickler,
Fury 325,
Lightning Rod,
Virginia Reels,
The Beast,
Steel Dragon,
Dip The Dips,
The Flyer ,
Cyclone Racer,
Thunderbolt,
The Greyhound……

No matter
what type of
coaster you like:

Wooden,
Big Drop,
Steel Track,
Flume,
Stand Up,
Sit Down,
Inverted,
Suspended,
High G,
High Speed,
Vintage …….

No matter
your riding style :

Just Hold On,
Scream Yer
Lungs Out,
Wave Yer Arms,
Grab Yer Girl,
Duck & Cover,
Front Seat,
Back Seat ….

and no
matter
where
you ride it:

Cedar Point,
Wildwood ,
Coney Island,
Jax Beach,
Kings Dominion,
Busch Gardens,
Carowinds,
Six Flags ,
Ocean City,
Long Beach,
Parc Astérix,
Lake Winnie ……

Oh sure,
I have my
personal
favorites, as
I guess any
coaster fan
has —

I particularly love
riding vintage
wooden coasters,
especially if they
were made by
the Philadelphia
Tobaggan Company…

And if they
happen
to be beside
the seaside,

– like on a
Boardwalk,
for instance,

well, I’ll be as
happy as a clam.

Hey,
you might like
those tubular giants
that roll and zip along
around a 100 MPH at
one of those mega
amusement parks.

Yep,
there’s a coaster
for just about
anybody.

I guess what
I’m sayin is
this :

Wherever,
whatever,
however …..

You just
gotta love it.

Buy your ticket,
and enjoy the ride.

!!! HOY !!!

.

.

The Jaguar ‘E’ Type

The great car engineer
and designer Enzo Ferrari
called it : “the most beautiful
car made
“.

The Museum of Modern Art
in New York City recognized
the E-Type’s importance by
adding a Series 1 XKE to
its permanent design collection-
one of only six automobiles
so distinguished.

It is no overstatement
to say that one cannot
consider a list of the
landmark top 10 sports
cars of the 20th century
without including the
Jaguar ‘E’ type.

Available between
1961 and 1975,
the ground breaking
Jaguar ‘E’ type (known
in the United States as
the ‘XKE’) was truly a
performance icon.

Series 1 : Made
between 1961 and 1968,
it was available in three
body styles, all two doors-
a fastback coupe,
a roadster, and
beginning in 1966,
a 2+2 coupe with an
optional automatic
transmission.
All were equipped
with a straight six
engine, originally
a 3.8 liter, but in late
1964, a 4.2 liter making
about 265 horsepower.
Type ‘1.5’ designates a
1968 series 1 car with
modifications anticipating
some of the changes
made in the upcoming
Series 2, like the twin
carb set-up.

Series 2: Made between
1968 and 1971, this series
was largely Jaguar’s response
to new automotive regulations
in the United States –
it’s performance was de-tuned
and the three SU carburetors
used in Series I models were
replaced by two Stromberg
carbs, reducing horsepower
to just over 260. The front
grill was widened for cooling
purposes, headlight covers
were removed, and a
wrap-around rear safety
bumper was added.

Series 3: Made between
1971 and 1975, this series
is primarily remembered
as the “E” types with the
new Jaguar V-12 engine
and quad Zenith carbs,
making about 270 horsepower,
although a few series-3 cars
were ordered with the 4.2 liter
straight 6. (WHY?) The E-Type
was no longer available in a
two seater fastback coupe –
but the 2+2 coupe and the
roadster were still offered.
The redesign had several
advantages to buyers-
more comfortable seats,
better grip from wider tires,
faster acceleration and top
end than the Series 2, and
improved interior spaces.

The E-Type ended
production in 1975-
49 of the last 50 cars
made received a
commemorative
dashboard plaque,
and a black paint
scheme with chrome
wheels.

According to automotive
sources, in 2020, Jaguar
will release it’s “Concept-Zero”
E-Type to the marketplace .

This car, based on a revival of
the 1968 E-Type 1.5, will be
an all electric, zero emissions
vehicle, able to accelerate
from 0-60 in 5.5 seconds,
and have a range of over
160 miles before recharging.

!! HOY !!

.