And Now, Fish Balls In Their Own Juice

fishballsYou have to admit……

Despite the fact that this post
has absolutely nothing at all
to do with bizarre food products ,
it sure makes a dandy way
of starting things off, doesn’t it ?

They are indeed,
fish balls in their own juice.

I had no idea that fish even had ’em.

Jeeez…. sailor
the stuff you learn on the internet, huh?

Of course,
SQUIDS got em.

Knowing me like you do,
how could you doubt it?

And we can be right handy
with them at times.

You put us in the right kinda boat,
——– and you’ll find out, too. slipoffshore

As you can probably tell
from this mindless prattling
that I seem to be doing,

This is one of them
‘no subject’ posts that I write
when my mailbag is full,
and my mind is idea-free.

I’m not saying
that reading this post will
be a total waste of time, though.

Because I think the pictures alone,
are worth the 30 seconds of your life,coffee
you’ll spend perusing it.

Actually,
these are some of the
best ones in the mailbag.

Just how to connect the dots,
as it were,
is the only real issue.

And as,
idley just rambling along,
literarily speaking is concerned,
is a specialty of mine…

No,
you can’t call it stream of consciousness. throttle

You gotta be conscious for that.

The goodies we’ve got for you
today all relate to stuff I like.

Other than those damned fish balls, that is.

Girls in boats hiking up their dress
so they don’t get wet —
ride
Oh, yes,
I like.

Coffee —
well, who doesn’t like coffee,
I ask you.

Tattoos–
sure, man, I’m in.

Motorcycles —

Come on,riding
how easy can these
pop quizzes get anyway ?

If they’d stuck to
these subjects in school,

……. I might not have ended
up a juvenile delinquent.

Ahhh, well….
……………….. who knows.

Now,
that I’m an adult delinquent,

I’m kinda happy about how it all turned out.

star

.

HOY!

Cut That Out

widowI stopped into my friendly,
neighborhood used-book store
the other day …

It’s not really like
I have any spare
storage room
for any more books,

— but I figure just
how much more
precious space can a
hardbound 3 volume
set of Thucydides’
History of the Peloponnesian Wars
(with full index and
translator’s commentary)beatles

really take up, anyway?

Oh well….

I guess I can put them in
my motorcycle saddlebags
along with my paperback copy of:

Zen and the Art
of Motorcycle Maintenance
“.

The guy that works in that
second hand book store
always puts cut-out books
aside for me he thinks that
I will like/buy —nukefun

Sure,
I’m a dog lover,

always mighty proud to say it,
….. mighty proud to say it.

Still, it seems to me that
weaving dog hair into baby booties
wouldn’t be the most
efficient use of my already
very limited free time.

And as far as
raw materials is concerned,
if I’m that desperatekint,
I can just start pulling
out chest hairs,
for crying out loud.

Damn things are starting
to come in gray, anyway.

I just hope whoever buys this book:

Knitting With Dog Hair
don’t have any issues with allergies,
what with picking all the dog hairs
out of the vacuum cleaner bag,
and all.

Gazundheit. dollardate

.

And,
just because you want
a deal on books
doesn’t mean you’d
want a book like this one:

Dating For Under A Dollar ” .

I dunno what kinda cheapskate
would take a girl on a dollar date,
( a dollar ??? )

… but if it was my daughter
he was treating that way,whatsittya
I’d have some serious
questions for him….

Like,
just how long do you
want to keep on living?

While it goes without saying
that hanging around
the house playing video games
and watching television
doesn’t cost anything –
songbook
———- since when
does that constitute a date ?

And who needs a book
to think of that one?

I like the ‘review quote’
on the top of the cover —
” Dating will never
be the same again “

– Brad Wilcox.

Alright —
mindoverboobs
I give up —
Who The Fuck is Brad Wilcox,
and why would I take
HIS word for it ???????

Somehow,
I think not.

Definitely not a charter
member of the ‘fun bunch’, I’d say.

.

Anyhoo…

I did see some very
weird titles in there,

and frankly,
I’m wondering how/why a couple
of these books even exist–dis

I mean,
what kind of target audience
would this one have–

“How To DISSAPPEAR
DISSAPPEAR DISS….”
(oh well, you can see
the damn thing for yourself)

If the author can’t even SPELL —

— and the publisher can’t even
proof-read a book cover ?

Besides,
completely disappearing seems
like a relatively simpleboners
thing to do, really…..

Just get in line
at your local DMV office,
….. and you’ll see
exactly what I mean.

.

I dunno who financed
some of these duds–

I can’t imagine how anyone
would think they’d make
a profit on printing them…poo

But somehow, I’ll bet
some of the authors
of this lame literature
made a fortune on
speaking engagements.

Can you imagine paying for
a ticket to see a two-hour
lecture on the exciting things
that happened to Taro Gomi
while he was writing
“Everybody Poops” ?

Boggles the mind– wrong

But, that’s the kinda
world this is, man.

And there did seem to be
an overabundance of bad titles
in the ‘self-help/advice’
section particularly.

Why is that?

Maybe it’s a modern version of the old rule :
Those who can – do .
Those who can’t –
write a self help book.

Sorry, to tell you, though–cool

If being ‘cool’ is something
that comes out of a book,

— it ain’t gonna be this one:
“Anybody Can Be Cool,
But Awesome Take Practice
“.

Nope.

Or this blog,
for that matter —

— cause the one thing I got
in common with that author,
is that I haven’t got a clue, either.

Later Gator.

HOY !!!

bettypage

Christmas Leftovers

deadrobinforluckI got a note from one of
my regular readers that
we didn’t hit Christmas
this year with our usual verve –

– and I guess that’s true…
we do usually run it
completely into the ground,
until you just wanna throw up —
weird
— sorta like they do with those
commercials featuring ‘Flo’
or that damned reptile…..

and of course,
while we here
at the Müscleheaded Blog
consider making our readersscrewy
feel a bit queasy is all
part and parcel with
what we do around
here on a regular basis…

… still, we thought we’d
give y’all a break.

— But —
Nooooooooooooo…

Some observant
wisenheimer had to go
and jinx the whole thingshave
by noticing we were
trying to be nice guys
about it..

You woulda thought
you woulda learned
your lesson after
complaining aboutsantablimp
the small Christmas
bonus last year-
cause you got nothing
at all this year.

Be thankful
and remain silent,
that’s what I always say.

sausageWell, actually,
I don’t say that–

— ’cause I was the
big-mouthed loser
who complained about
the damned bonus.

Still.

Take it for
what it’s worth.

In this case,
nuprobably nuthin.

(Like these folks are wearin.)

We do have a couple of
cool images our readers
have sent in that missed
the Annual Muscleheaded
Blockbuster Christmas
Blog Schedule deadlines —

–and it would be a
damned shame to
have to wait until
next year to use them,
because they genuinely
ARE weird or unique, halchrist
and because we’re
all about instant
gratification around here,
ya know.

My friend Katie is responsible
for the first two.

I’m told that a dead robin
was supposed to be good luck
in Victorian times.

I guess sending a
postcard would obviously
smell a lot better
than the real thing.

We’ve also got:

A Creepy Christmas Card With Owls future
(A design left over
from Halloween, I’ll bet)

Santa in a Blimp 
(I don’t think that
ever caught on )

Santa in a Rocket Sled
( I don’t think that’ll
catch on, either)

A Nudist Christmas card
(Apparently it was
a thing in the 50’s)

A Guy Shaving For Christmas
(It takes a village, I guess ) cat

A Riveting Christmas With Rosie
(Screwy and Wearing Pants )

A Bad Pun About Sausage 
(Yeah, is there
a GOOD pun ?)

A Somehow Still Relevant Political Card
(Santa can’t beat
the bags under her eyes)
drunk
An Evening Out With The Clauses 
(Boy, she looks
totally different in civvies )

And our finale —

Another Bad Pun
About Big Boobs 
( … yeah, the pun maybe –
but there’s no such thing
as bad big boobs.)

!!!! HOY !!!!!!

busted